late night reminders

blurry

On December 24 I drove to Walmart at 12:05 am.  In the midst of a heavy snow-storm on unplowed roads. I made that late night trek because I had realized I was short a couple presents for my boys -- and since we celebrate Christmas with our kids on Christmas Eve morning that was the only solution that Todd and I could think of.  It was interesting -- as I was reminded to stop looking at my own life and take a moment to see someone elses.

Here's why.

~As I was driving in 4 inches of unplowed snow I came up to a minivan struggling to get up the back-country roads.  I had noticed that cars were getting frustrated at this vehicle and would race around it irritated.  I came up, slowed down, and followed this van for the next 5 miles.  When it needed room, I made room.  When cars passed I slowed down so this van would have space.  As I was driving, with only the headlights illuminating heavily falling snow, I knew I was to be patient. To serve in a way that seemed so simple.

When the van finally turned right where I needed to go straight the driver waved, with a gloved hand out the window, thanks. I wonder if that was why I needed to go out.

Who was that man? Why was he driving through the snow? I wondered.

~When I was at Walmart -- by this time it was 12:30 -- I noticed all these people wandering around, checking prices, shopping, and looking downcast.  Really.  It was this energy in the store.  I had never felt it before, and I began to think about the reasons why so many people filled the aisles on Christmas Eve morning.

When I went to pay, I pulled out change for the 2 Toy Story 3 puzzles, a couple of  Lego sets, and a checkers game.  As I was fumbling for 65cents a couple of guys behind me loudly stated -- maybe next time I should just come here and pay with a bag of pennies.  I ignored them.  My cashier looked mortified.  She mumbled an apology, and a -- merry Christmas -- and then sadly turned back to deal with those guys.

Who was she?  Why was she working in the middle of the night at Walmart?

I thought about her the entire time I drove home.  I thought about how I needed to be reminded to remember others in the midst of the holidays.  Here I was just hours before frustrated that I had to leave my warm home to buy a couple more presents to add to the already wrapped stash under our tree.  How quickly I was humbled -- how blessed I was to add extra gifts -- and just as quickly my frustration turned to thankfulness.

~So I said a prayer for that cashier.  And those impatient guys.  And the mom with the 3 kids wandering around at 12:47 am.  And the lone man in the green minivan with the bad tires.

It was a reminder to me that Christmas really isn't about all that stuff.  All that stuff that so quickly irritates us as we have to find new homes for it.  Christmas is about Jesus -- His birth.  And in remembering that it brings eyes to see others. My vision was blurry.  All I could see when I left my house was my own needs. I was selfish. I wish that I could always have my eyes open.  I wish that I could do more. Give more. Not just look at me.  When I arrived back home at 1:16 am  I could only be grateful as I wrapped those new Walmart gifts.

And remember those I met on my snowy trip to Walmart on Christmas Eve. 

clear
(thanks to my daughter, Hannah from Aspire, for both of these pictures)

tires, oh, tires

Oh tires....
How I need you, yet don't want to pay for you.
The time you take from my day makes me ache.
Oh tires...oh tires...
you make me tired.

my pathetic old tires

This post is about tires.  Which do you like?  Radials?  How thick of tread? How many miles?  At what cost?  Do you need an alignment?    NO IT'S NOT. (did I get ya?)

This post is about keeping your head up.  Doing the hard stuff.  Things you thought you couldn't do.  This post is about my last 24 hours.  My challenging last 24 hours.  It's about keeping a smile on even when you want to cry.

First, to set the stage, my husband is traveling and my parents are in New Zealand.  Second, I notice that the tires need to be replaced immediately (who would think with steal tread poking through?).  I take care of it only to find that the tires currently on my truck were the wrong ones.  That last year, when we had four new ones put on the shop put on tires much too small for my 3/4 ton suburban. The tires should NEVER have been on there...it was, in fact, dangerous.  And it wore them out.  Way too early. I replace the front two, and now need to get the back done.  Now, I have a new issue.  Too fight...to get the right ones on, at no to little cost.  Let me just tell you that your blogging friend has been on the phone working, working, working to have this right. The one company won't take them back, the other will, back and forth...back and forth...all day. I've been working.  By myself.  Doing things that I hate.  I hate negotiating, ruffling feathers, and causing a bit of a ruckus.  But, I'm doing it.  Because it's right.

one of my new tires

I am normally not the one to do this.  In fact, my husband typically handles all of this grunt work.  And in this case, really challenging work.  This time?  It fell on my lap.  And, in all honesty, I've been blessed that it has.  I can do this....I can speak my mind...I can state how I feel...I can make it right.  Not on my own strength.  No. I have been seeking the Lord all day, praying and asking for His blessing on this situation.  And it still isn't resolved, yet I feel at peace right now.  The details are overwhelming. The finances way too tight.  Even if the tires get covered there still is a $1000 repair that's imminent. How will it get covered? At this second, I don't know. I have faith that it will.  However, despite all of this I'm ok.  I feel strong...and it's not my own strength.  I'll just keep fighting.  And living, with my head held high.

Now, back to call the auto repair shop....and the goodyear rep...and try to get a hold of my husband...and make dinner...and figure out what to do next...and...