that Samuel...

...can't kick this fever of his. A little while ago he was sitting at 104.2 degrees.  I hate that!  When my olders are sick they can tell me what's wrong, but when they're so little...sigh...it's a guessing game.  One that I don't like.

Samuel and me

So, following the advice of my facebook friends, I went up to the local grocery store and purchased some baby Motrin.  I've come to the conclusion that on a Friday night it seems that this grocery store is also a bit of a hangout for those younger youth.  I'm not sure what's so fabulous about wandering the aisles of frozen food, meat and dry goods; but alas, they were all there. Hanging around.  While I was meandering around, with a red-eye rimmed baby, pushing a cart with napkins, Motrin, moose-track ice cream (it was kind of needed at this point), dishwasher cleaner, and orange juice. Oh yeah, and another pack of Keurig Caribou Coffee K-Cups. All while wearing my gray sweat pants.  Yes.  I sunk to the level of mom, wandering the aisles at 10pm in her mega-casual clothes.  Oh, and with wet hair. Can you just say, "classy?" :)

Oh well, at least I've got some Motrin now.  Samuel's temperature is now 103.1 degrees.  I gave him Tylenol 90 minutes ago.  Wouldn't you think it would be lower than that?  (man, I feel like a rookie).  I'm planning on giving him some Motrin at 11 pm.  I feel so bad for the poor babe...he's so so hot...and so so twitchy.  Come on baby, fight that fever!

(ok...when would you bring him in to be seen?  I never ever ever ever know.   Just looking for advice....again.)

The Cancer Diary

There are certain books in your life that can close yet still remain on your shelf.  By sitting on the shelf they have the potential to be opened at any time.  But I don’t need to be staring at The Cancer Diary, reading it daily. It’s been a little over four years since my husband finished treatment for cancer.  Four years filled with awesome gifts and devastating lows.  Not only does cancer affect health, but it trickles into every facet of one’s life.

Relationships.  Finances. Friendships.  Family.  Time. Faith.

Todd - 2 years before diagnosis

Every headache, stomach ache, lump or pain raises flags in my mind.  How can it not?  Especially when I have our oncology doctor’s number in my cell phone file.  Even last year, a simple nodule on the back of my husband’s neck caused the medical community to move at lightening speed.  Instead of waiting weeks to watch it and see multiple doctors, my husband saw a surgeon within 24 hours of bringing the lump to his oncologist’s attention.  And it was completely biopsied with path reports within another 24 hours.  No longer is my husband’s medical complaints ever considered minor.  He is, in fact, flagged for life.  “You’ve had cancer?” they ask, and then move his chart to the priority slot.

I don’t want to live worried about headaches and pains.  There’s no freedom in that mindset.  So I’ve chosen to adopt this book mentality with regards to cancer.  When I need to know I can open the book.  I know exactly where we stopped so there’s no worry in losing my spot.  But I don’t need to live with it staring me in the face.  And that involves faith, and trust, and casting those worries elsewhere.

On the Lord.  Daily.

I’m writing about cancer today because when I write it brings healing.  It’s a part of who I am now.  I can’t go through Caribou Coffee during Breast Cancer awareness month and not feel compelled to buy Amy’s Blend, or donate, or share some of my story.  When I wear my Livestrong bracelet I want to share my story.  And likewise, if I see someone wear one I am not afraid to start a conversation.  In fact, there probably is not one week that goes by where m story doesn't come out. When I read about others’ journies via the blogworld my heart aches for the trials and rejoices for the victories. My heart seems to be tuned in to hear that two syllable word...cancer.

family - 2 years after diagnosis

As the wife of a cancer survivor I’ve learned that I can be strong, and brave, and that I can feel deeply.  It became so apparent to me that I was masking the pains and hurts in my life when Todd was sick.  Instead of clinging to all the facades I had no choice but to let every one of my “I’ve got it all together” masks shatter at our Savior’s feet.  In letting go, I began to find my voice, and I began to write.  And in writing it gives me freedom.  Freedom to admit that my life is messy, that I struggle, that I hurt, and that I rejoice.  Tucked in all of those honest moments is a heart that continually strives to seek and bring glory to our King, our Savior.

Thank you to all who read my blog.  Your comments are sweet and motivating.  It’s an interesting thing, this blogging.  My heart is put on the line many times…and yet I still come back, still write, still seek joy.  Through it all I can boldly state that the Lord is good in all times….So again thank you.  Will all my posts be like this?  Nope.  But there’ll be some because in remembering and writing there’s healing.  Healing and freedom.

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If you know of any bloggers out there going through a journey with health will you let me know?  I’d love to comment, to offer encouragement, and to lend an ear.  I have been blessed throughout the years by various friends found through my blogging world.  To all of you:  Thank you.

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One last thing.  Would you keep my sweet Samuel, the cutie from the paper or plastic pictures from yesterday, in your prayers?  He's got a fever today...and I'm sure he'll be fine...but, I always value and appreciate prayer.

Samuel - yesterday

paper or plastic??

Enjoy....my Samuel

decisions

which way?

I've decided

yes

Paper wins!

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Have a fabulous day.  Thanks for the kind comments on my previous post.  My day ended up great.  The Lord is good! I keep thinking of the song, "Here am I"...and the truth to the words.  Whether I have a good day or a challenging day, I'm still living for the Lord.  He's my all in all.  Not the challenges, or the tires, or the money, or my own negative emotions, or even fatigue.  My life...it's all for Him.

ramblings

This week has gone nothing like I've imagined.

I'm trying to figure out so many things.

Yet, sometimes I feel frozen, trapped, in a crazy life that's moving all too fast. A life that I love, that I'm grateful for...where I wish I had time...time to plan, to focus, to goal set.  Yet, I'm busy from the moment I'm up till my exhausted head touches my pillow.

How to get it all done?  How do I ensure all the academics are completed?  How do I regain focus?  Intentionality.  And what does that mean?  Thinking back about my some honesty post about my homeschool style, I'm still trying to wrap my head around what my day should look like.  Right now, it's too lax...not enough accomplished.  I try to make excuses...it was the truck...I didn't get enough sleep...we've got other projects...but, day after day of this makes me feel anxiety-ridden.  And then like I'm failing.  There needs to be some happy-medium.

an apple for mom

But more than that, I need to not define myself based on external outcomes.  I'm constantly telling my kids that they are not their emotions.  They may feel an emotion, like anger, sadness, happiness, yet they, at the core are not that emotion.  So here I sit defining myself based on an emotion.  It's so hard to step back when it feels so personal.  Yet, I know that it needs to be done.

How many times do I throw in the towel at 1pm because the day didn't go right?  Probably way too many.  Instead of being black and white about this, I'm learning to extend grace to myself.  That's right...to me.  I am notoriously hard on myself.  I push and push and push. I want things just right.  Yet I write about freedom, and grace, and being real.  To be real is to admit that I struggle with keeping everything running, all the ducks in a row.  There are times, like today, when I'm tired.  The fight seems to keep going.  Dragging. But I still fight.  I write.  And I see the need to continue pressing forward.  Without defining the struggle as a fail.  Instead it's part of the journey. Every day may not look the same, but as long as there's movement, there's progress.  And truly, movement on some days may simply be a hug.

Brennan's Rainbow

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Ok.  I took this picture of Brennan outside today.  It made me laugh!  His new thing is to get in the wagon and pretend that he's in a boat sailing across the sea.  Or in this case...with him rowing across the sea, I mean grass.

"Sailing along"

tires, oh, tires

Oh tires....
How I need you, yet don't want to pay for you.
The time you take from my day makes me ache.
Oh tires...oh tires...
you make me tired.

my pathetic old tires

This post is about tires.  Which do you like?  Radials?  How thick of tread? How many miles?  At what cost?  Do you need an alignment?    NO IT'S NOT. (did I get ya?)

This post is about keeping your head up.  Doing the hard stuff.  Things you thought you couldn't do.  This post is about my last 24 hours.  My challenging last 24 hours.  It's about keeping a smile on even when you want to cry.

First, to set the stage, my husband is traveling and my parents are in New Zealand.  Second, I notice that the tires need to be replaced immediately (who would think with steal tread poking through?).  I take care of it only to find that the tires currently on my truck were the wrong ones.  That last year, when we had four new ones put on the shop put on tires much too small for my 3/4 ton suburban. The tires should NEVER have been on there...it was, in fact, dangerous.  And it wore them out.  Way too early. I replace the front two, and now need to get the back done.  Now, I have a new issue.  Too fight...to get the right ones on, at no to little cost.  Let me just tell you that your blogging friend has been on the phone working, working, working to have this right. The one company won't take them back, the other will, back and forth...back and forth...all day. I've been working.  By myself.  Doing things that I hate.  I hate negotiating, ruffling feathers, and causing a bit of a ruckus.  But, I'm doing it.  Because it's right.

one of my new tires

I am normally not the one to do this.  In fact, my husband typically handles all of this grunt work.  And in this case, really challenging work.  This time?  It fell on my lap.  And, in all honesty, I've been blessed that it has.  I can do this....I can speak my mind...I can state how I feel...I can make it right.  Not on my own strength.  No. I have been seeking the Lord all day, praying and asking for His blessing on this situation.  And it still isn't resolved, yet I feel at peace right now.  The details are overwhelming. The finances way too tight.  Even if the tires get covered there still is a $1000 repair that's imminent. How will it get covered? At this second, I don't know. I have faith that it will.  However, despite all of this I'm ok.  I feel strong...and it's not my own strength.  I'll just keep fighting.  And living, with my head held high.

Now, back to call the auto repair shop....and the goodyear rep...and try to get a hold of my husband...and make dinner...and figure out what to do next...and...

rightly-ordered

I've been pondering the phrase rightly-ordered lately.  Probably because I've been feeling as if there are many facets in my life that are not rightly ordered.  I was introduced to the concept of rightly-ordered years ago at a former church of ours, and I remember being instantly drawn to the truth in those two words.  Rightly- ordered is God ordered, not me-ordered, or earthly-ordered, or society-ordered.  It is order rooted in the absolute truth of God.

And I don't have it.

In fact, as I type this, I know that I am sitting in many challenges that need to be submitted to the authority and power of Christ.  One of them is the general attitude of my home.  Do you ever experience it?  You know, those times when it just feels like everything or everyone is in a funk?  Yet you can't put your finger on what, or who, or why it is?  That's where I am right now.  Where I know it's not right, not rightly-ordered, yet I can't pinpoint the reason.  Or, in all honesty, I avoid looking at the root.

And that root is that once again, I haven't surrendered my day and this home to the Lord.

a nearly empty cup

Just like I wrote yesterday, my measuring cup of the day is filled with things to do, projects, my own self-worth, coffee (in the effect that I look for it for energy and to calm my mind), and NOT Jesus.  Oh, Jesus is there, but I'm not FULL of Him.  And when He's at the bottom of the cup it takes alot to stare through all the other muck that is covering Him, the truth.  Then life, or the home, begins to unravel.  Bit by bit, like a knit scarf being pulled apart.  You can't see it unraveling, and yet it is...and by the time you realize it you've lost rows.  Or in my case, I reach the point where I just pull over the truck (again) and weep.

I can't do this on my own strength.

Yet, I've been trying.  Trying to hold it together, clutching things so tightly so that it looked together.  Maybe today will be better...I'd try to tell myself.  Yet, it wasn't.  There wasn't the rightly-ordered power.  Rightly-ordered means that my cup is full of Christ first.  It means that our day in this home begins and ends with Him.  That no matter what, we let go of the world's agenda to refocus our lives to Him.  Will math wait? Absolutely.  Especially if there is a heart that needs mending, or correcting, or soothing.  A messy floor?  Yes.  Being late to a class?  When it involves redirecting to the truth, then that is first.  100%  And that truth, that rightly-ordered power gives me hope.  Not from me, but hope in Him.  In His plans.  His mercies.

renewed, rededicated

Today I am going to spend some time wandering through my home rededicating it to the Lord.  I will pray that His Spirit fills every crack and crevice, and that His truth radiates from the walls.  I've slacked in that area, and because of that His power and truth faded into the background.  So, once again, I begin.  Humbly, and yet filled with His rightly-ordered power.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
great is your faithfulness.
(Lamentations 3:22-23)

measureless love....some personal reflections

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:14-19

my journal

I'm home.  And I'm refreshed...not physically, because seriously, who sleeps on a retreat?...mentally.  Beyond that, I'm challenged to confront some thoughts and beliefs that I have in my life.  Beliefs that hold me back, limit my effectiveness, and keep me from experiencing the truth of God's measureless love for me.

We live in a world where everything is quantifiable.  In fact, it is impossible for our minds to wrap themselves around something without limits...without an end...without parameters.  Yet, the Father loves us with infinite love.  That we, His children, attempt to define.  Beth Moore discussed how we are like measuring cups.  We fill ourselves up with either ourselves or with Him.  When it's not Him we tend to find externals and others that fill us.

Several years ago I heard a friend describe us as vacuums.  We either suck the life out of each other (imagine two vacuums connected...burn out) or get it completely from the Lord.  The analogy is powerful.  Life derived from the world or self simply results in anxiety, loss, fear, discontent and overwhelm.  So when Beth Moore asked us to journal about insecurities that we need to be free from it caused my mind to start pondering what holds me back.  What stops me?  What keeps me from being free?  And filled with Jesus?

It came down to the three phrases,

I'm not worth it.
I'm not good enough.
and
It's too late.

I took the pain and trials of my life and used them to define God.  I had somehow made an agreement in my mind that "if the Lord really loves me then He would take away these pains."  I took His love and made it measured . Instead of believing the truth of who He is I fell prey to thinking that I'm not worth fighting for.  Slowly these thoughts and agreements began to take root in my heart.  So deep that I no longer challenged the validity of the words. I just lived life feeling as if I was just a bit lost. 

letting go

Until Saturday morning. I wrote in my journal.  And I prayed.  I told the Lord that I was terrified to let go of these thoughts less I would be forgotten.  I was afraid to be lost.  Or not worth it.  And through it I gently began to surrender.  I began to realize that until I remove my labels on the Lord that I am not submitting to His power, His authority, and His truth.  I prayed for words for me.  I prayed that I wasn't the only one who felt alone or insignificant. And He gave me this verse:

O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, who is enthroned above the cherubim, you are the God, you alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth, you have made heaven and earth.  Incline your ear, O Lord, and hear.  Open your eyes, O Lord and see. 

(Isaiah 37:8)

My dear friends, these words are beautiful to me.  For years I'd been feeling as if the Lord didn't really hear me, and the lie I didn't matter crept into my being.  But I do.  Our powerful Lord hears me.  He wants to hear me.  Our Lord has my life, and yours, etched in the palm of His hand.  He knows me...He cares.  In that truth is freedom.  Freedom for me to write and to speak about His glory.  For years I've felt this calling to write and speak.  Yet, with all the clarity of knowing the task, I also knew it wasn't the right time.  I kept surrendering, waiting for His voice...to go...now is the time.  But, now, within the last weeks I keep hearing, "it's time."  Now, Lord?  And what?  Is it really time for this?  Or something else?  And if it is what do I write?  When will I speak?  What? Are you sure?  The details could overwhelm me, and yet I'm choosing to let them go.  He knows.  He created me and loves me more than I could imagine.  In that truth is the freedom to let go of my need for the details and to trust in His great plans.  So I'll write.  And listen for His truth and direction

truth

All these hard things.  I've defined my life to some extent by them.  I've measured God's love for me by them.  Those trials, the losses, the finances, the sickness they all can be used for His glory.  What could drive me to the ground can be redeemed.  He is always faithful, always true...and I desire to praise Him...and to proclaim the glories and wonders of our Lord. Alleluia and all honor to our King!

Blessings on your Sunday!

Wk3-Planting Chums and my weekend

Brennan

Hannah's planting chums topic this week is fave foto. (Make sure to check it out.  The give-aways are simply outstanding...sunglasses, purse, prints and more)  How in the world do you pick a favorite photo?  My home is filled with pictures. I have a wall filled with black and whites, shelves overflowing with frames, scrapbooks with images next to doodles thoughts, and a computer jammed full of digital pictures waiting to be printed.  So I had to pick one....or maybe two.

And then I remembered this picture of Brennan.  We were at a church picnic at a house on a lake near our home.  It's a beautiful old farm house that the owners use as a mission of service.  They rent it out for weddings, youth retreats, and more.  And there, they have this old swing tied high to a tall stately tree. Brennan spotted it immediately.

Mom....PLEASE?  Can I?  Can I?  Please???

Of course I told him yes.  Even though he was only four, and the swing at parts was really high. High.  Not little-bitty high, but feeling like you are flying high. I let him try it even though he seemed so little and the swing so big.  And he loved it.  I saw my little guy laughing with freedom and joy. So I took out this old digital camera I had and started taking pictures.  And for some beautiful reason, I caught his utter enjoyment.

Twice.

Freedom!

____________________________

On a different note, I won't be around for the next two days.  I'm helping to lead a women's retreat for our church.  We're basing it off of the video series Measureless Love by Beth Moore.  This world quantifies everything, and it is all too easy to put the love the Lord has for us in that category.  But, friends, that is so far from the truth.  Truth is?  His love is beyond anything we can imagine.  Will you pray that the women coming are blessed and that their hearts are ready to receive this truth?  

...may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love  of Christ... (Ephesians 3:18)

notes to self...

(if you'd like to read my more serious and endearing post about Caleb's Bible click here)

1. Do not leave a full bag of thatch (yard grass) near the deck during daytime hours.

thatch

2. Do not allow two boys, pictured below, to leave the kitchen and play freely in the backyard.

Brennan

Caleb

3. Always check on the two above named boys when they have:

•   been outside for longer than twenty minutes without fighting
•   been outside for longer than twenty minutes without coming in to use the bathroom.

4. When arriving back outside after all of the above notes have NOT been followed do NOT be surprised to find the entire bag of thatch strewn around the yard.

5. Remember that one person's grass (and thatch) is the next person, I mean child's, treasure.

(my Eli in the yard w/thatch)

6. Reread one's own post titled so thankful for those spills so that perspective can be regained.

7. Post on blogger so all the blogging buddies know that this blogger's life is far from perfect! (and normal)

Ha ha ha........

Caleb's Bible

eating an apple

About a month ago a representative for the Gideon's Ministry came to our church.  He chatted about the need for funding and also informed us of their huge ministry of donating Bibles.  After church, they handed out Bibles to anyone in the church who was interested.  And my four year old Caleb received a little pocket Bible.

That he carries with him everywhere.

He doesn't know how to read yet.  Well, he actually can read, and if you can believe this he taught himself, but he cannot yet read the words in his Bible.  Yet, he still holds it in his hands throughout the day.  Yesterday, several times I'd watch him run around outside (or backside according to my two-year old, Elijah) clutching the now worn Bible in his hands.  When my neighbor came up to chat with me he ran up telling her about his Bible.  When the seven year old neighbor boy ran over after school Caleb proudly showed him his  Bible.  "It's mine!  My very own Bible!" he'd proudly shout.

Dad wrote this for him

Oh, to have the pride that Caleb has over his Bible.  Although he can't read the words he understands the significance and importance of having His Word with him throughout the day.  It's so easy to slip into the mentality of doing life all by one's self.  We put God on a shelf and pull Him out when we need Him.  And typically, it's during times of need, or crisis, or sorrow.  But, the Lord desires that we carry Him, need Him, all the time.  Every day.

We have an over-abundance of 3x5 notecards at our home.  We use them for everything.  Science notes, spelling words, clues, math facts...you name it? ...and we use it.  Including Bible verses.  I love having a card with the truth of the Lord in my pocket.  So that it can be pulled out...during all times.

I need to take a lesson from Caleb and carry His Word with me always. Maybe I don't have a Gideon's Bible in my pocket, but I've got His truth imprinted on my heart.  It's a matter of priority.  Caleb instinctively knew the need to carry the Word.  Oh how I desire for that instinct to be part of my own heart.

one of my note cards

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On a different note, my Samuel is now CRAWLING.  Or at least, scooting.  My life has taken another dramatic turn....

Go, Samuel, Go!

Today I felt like this...

do we look like this?!

...family in the classic Richard Scarry book.  I was reading it to Caleb and Elijah, and the further I got into the story the more I began to relate with being the big family.  (When I was a child this was one of my faves...hmmmm....gets me thinking.)  Earlier today, after I had dropped of Hannah and Chloe at ballet (they teach), when I arrived home I had to unload all the remaining kids from the suburban.  Well, no big deal.  Except that my neighbors are getting a new driveway and the workers were taking a break.  Right in front of my driveway.  So they were watching as:

1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 emerged.

If only Hannah and Chloe had been there.  Then their jaws would have REALLY dropped.

I love being this family.  I love that the neighbor kids play at my house, and in my yard.  I joke that we have a child for each neighbor kid to play with.  Where I once used to cower and stutter about our family size I've now learned to hold my head up high and be grateful.  And proud.  And to state, "they are such blessings."  Boldly.  You see...we were told we probably couldn't have anymore children when my husband was diagnosed with cancer.  We had five then...a huge family by society's standards.  And yet, we've been blessed with those two little guys Elijah and Samuel since.  What blessings.  They are amazing gifts. Gifts that I will proudly unload from the crowded suburban in front of workers, or well in reality...anybody.

love my fam

Mother Stitches' words are true...our neighbor kids aren't lonely when we're around. :)  My kids are never lonely as well.  And, to be truly, honest, even though I'm super busy I wouldn't trade a minute of my time.  (Well...I could take a minute or two to sip my coffee...but other than that...oh...you get the picture!!)

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I just had to share this picture of tulips that I planted.  I can see them right from my kitchen window and they really brighten my day.  I love spring.  Except for the allergies.  They're brutal right now.

lovely tulips

Have a great Monday!

What to do with ripped jeans?

...and a calm day?  And an urge to do a project? Well...let's see...make cute homemade pin cushions?  Yep.  That's what I did.  While Hannah was playing with her new intuos4 tablet I was busy sewing...and watching her create graphics.  Then later, while Chloe creamed me in a game of Upwords, I finished sewing the details on to my little pillow pin cushions.  Which, by the way, my Elijah has decided makes very fun stacking toys.

Here's the story:  Caleb comes in with ripped jeans.  I quickly grab the scissors and cut off the bottoms.

old jeans = 

cute shorts

...then using a cd as a guide I cut out a circle from both the front and back of the jeans (which were clean).

first cut

...then I found a cut contrasting fabric and did the same.  That's an old computer game cd.  When Hannah and Chloe were little they loved to play that game. I can still hear the soundtrack.

love this fabric

...now I've got two circles.  I sewed them inside out leaving a two inch opening.  And a new pair of scissors.  Those first ones disappeared.  I think one of the boys decided to do his own craft project.

two rounds sewn together

...after sewing I filled it with poly fill.  It needed to be stuffed tightly.  Also: note to others...inform your two year old that polyfill is NOT something yummy to eat.  Elijah had to be told that several times.

polyfill

I found some cute buttons to add once I started sewing.  I got these two jars at a garage sale for 25cents each.  I'm hoping to go back this year and find some more.  She had jar after jar of buttons.

my buttons

Last step was to sew a knot on the bottom, use a large sewing needle (I used the one in my stitch kit for ballet shoes) and sew bands of thread through the center and out the sides.  Finally, just add a cute button in the center.   As you can see...I didn't just make one.  Which are your faves?  I love the green one with the pink button.  The picture doesn't really show how cute the button is...some day I'll invest in a better camera!

 pin cushions

old jean scraps = new pin cushions

Not a deep post.  A fun post?  It's just a little peek into my eccentric life. It's kind of like the spilled milk post.  I guess I've just started to take moments that could be frustrating...like a newer pair of jeans sporting holes in the knees...and make them into something good.  :)

Kristen Stewart on the cover of FLAUNT Magazine

Kristen Stewart is looking absolutely stunning on the cover of the upcoming April issure of FLAUNT Magazine.
The magazine’s April Spring Fashion issue “The Census Issue,”  features Kristen in a 14-page story that includes an in-depth interview and 11 new, original photographs by renowned fashion photographer Yu Tsai.
A FLAUNT Magazine representative states that :
The magazine is printed on a

so thankful for those spills

You can call me crazy, but I'm truly grateful every time one of my kids spills a liquid on our kitchen floor.  I love it.  It's like I'm giving the green light, a free pass, to clean the floor.  I know it's kind of strange, but I find myself feeling thankful as I'm wiping up that light birch wood floor...and watching it sparkle again.

In our home, with four little ones six and under there are LOTS of spills.  And I mean LOTS.  (see that caps?  and the color change?  that is to give BIG emphasis...:)....) When I was a younger, more rookie mom, I'd get frustrated with those spills.  As much as I tried to remember "not to cry over spilled milk" I'd find myself aggravated that I had to stop my current plans to do this new plan.

Isn't that what being a mother, or a parent is?  Parenting is a lesson in giving of yourself, your wants, and your needs.  As I type this I'm looking at my little Samuel jumping up and down in his Exersaucer.  And it's early.  Much, much earlier than when I would want to get up.  Yet, I'm awake.  For him.  We've already had our morning snuggle, and diaper change, and now for just a bit he's content and playing.  So I'm writing, with my warm Keurig Caribou coffee in hand (and on Hannah's laptop...shhhhhhh....) about spills.  Why?

Life can be good.  Even when there's spilled milk.

Spilled milk, or water, or juice (water is my fave...one less step to clean) used to be bobby pin moments.  You know, those times where I'd need to regroup (pull in a DQ parking lot), and reset my day.  Somehow my heart has changed to looking at those puddles as a little blessing...a gift.  That area of my floor will be clean.  It might not be the whole thing, but I can guarantee when someone stops by unannounced that there will be 2x3 sections of my floor that are spotless!  I feel like, in some ways, the Lord knows how much I hate a dirty floor and I'm getting this free moment to clean it.  I normally wouldn't have time, and yet, I'm forced to get on my hands and knees to wipe it clean.  Then...back to the craziness.

A couple of weeks ago, early in the morning, I got my Caleb a bowl of cereal.  As I reached to set it down I completely missed setting it on the table.  Completely.  It flipped over, cereal and milk flew through the air and splattered all over the floor and my freshly painted wall.  The kitchen became silent.  Not a noise.  Caleb and Elijah stared at me...waiting to see how I'd respond.  So I laughed.  And they laughed.  And I cleaned my floor, got some new cereal, and started my day.

Joyful.

my Caleb man

 

(that picture is of Caleb and my "baby" sister Abby when we were up at the lake)

SEX AND THE CITY 2 - Glitter and Chanel

Here's the new trailer and poster for Sex and the City 2. Halston, the brand Sarah Jessica Parker collaborates with, has a special role in the film, which also features classics like Manolo Blahnik and Holly Fulton. Patricia Field features in the new poster, but Carrie's Chanel sunglasses steal the show.

The French brand created the sunglasses Carrie is wearing, which reflect the city of

Planting Chums - Week 2 - Fun Games - A story of family

My daughter, Hannah, is hosting a Planting Chums get to know you on her blog Aspire.  She's also got amazing give-aways, and if I wasn't her mother, I'd be putting my entry in NOW. She's got several prints, some amazing jewelry, a home-made journal, and more.  More than the give-aways, what I love about Planting Chums?  Is the ability to fellowship...to find more about our blogging buddies lives...that's beauty.

Click HERE to go to her blog and link up.

This week's topic is on fun games.  Well, once anyone gets to know me they will find out three things:

1. I love games.
2. I am very competitive.
3. I really, really, really dislike losing.

So when Hannah came up with this topic I was thrilled.  Pick a game?  Tell why I like it? This should be fun and easy.  I began to think of all the games that I love to play: Scrabble, Killer Bunnies (and yes, that truly is a game...I might have to put a link up to prove this one...), Settlers of Catan (now that is one game where I really dislike losing), Phase 10, LoopIt, and more.  But the one game that I really love to play?  And, ironically, I only play it several times a year.  The game?

Cheat on your Neighbor

Now perhaps you know it as Nertz, or Solitaire Frenzy, or Nuts, or Pounce or more.  In fact the popular game Dutch Blitz is quite similar in feel and play.  I like to think of Cheat on Your Neighbor as Dutch Blitz on steroids. Whatever the name...I love playing it.  It's basically a crazy game of solitaire played with a bunch of friends where you try to get rid of your pile of base cards and build off the aces in the middle.  See this wikipedia linnk on Nertz for more because I could never explain it properly...it's one of those games where you have to play.  In fact, I have specific cards that I like to play with, including ones that I bought at a small gift shop in Valdez, Alaska only to be used for this game.

my cards

Why do I like it?  Many reasons.  Probably the biggest one is that we typically only play that game when we go up north for our annual trip to the lake.  Remember that picture from several posts ago?  That was taken at the lake.  My family, my parents, my siblings, my aunt and uncle, and my grandparents (before they both passed away) have all gone "up north" (a very Minnesotan saying) for many years.  How many?  It's getting close to thirty.  Yes, that is 30.  And "Cheat on Your Neighbor" became THE game to play at night.

the game table

Oh, we've got our rules...safety ones like all nails need to be trimmed and short...and game ones like if you finish a pile by putting the Ace on you need to remove the pile.  If you don't?  Watch out....eight other people will be yelling, "take off the pile! take off the pile!"  We laugh, and drink rootbeer floats, and put soothing aloe on our sunburned faces, and complain that the reason we're not as fast is because we're getting old.  But, you know why I truly love this game?  (again, besides the fact that I AM pretty good at it, and can typically win or cause the winner to seriously sweat.)

It's about family.  And generations.  And memories.

my kids on our dock

Did you think I could get through a post without nostalgia? Or linking it to life?  Or finding a deeper meaning? Well, not today...in fact, I love looking at the everyday, or the special, or the insignificant and finding beauty and joy in those moments.  With this game, it's all about our family.  My children have all come up to the lake since the first summer of their lives.  We talk about going there constantly.  My dad will tell them that there's only six months till we go there...right after Christmas.  It's a huge thing.  For a week of life all of my relatives say NO to the daily grind and YES to family.  We cook together, we eat together, we play games, we talk, we rest, but most importantly?  We're together.  It's teaching my children the beauty in family, and that we VALUE family.

my girls with their cousin

Hannah and Chloe just learned how to play "Cheat on Your Neighbor" two summers ago.  (And, yes, I was easy on them while they were learning...most of the time.) I taught them how to play a couple weeks before we left.  There was something generational about teaching a simple card game to them.  Something that will be passed on someday.  To their children.  Now, that, gives me goosebumps.

Bottom line?  I don't need to win.  In fact, many times while the massive frenzy of the game begins, I will quietly and quickly tell my daughters that they need to put "that 4 of spades" out, or likewise.  The most important quality of this game? That game represents family, generations, and traditions.  That is priceless. 

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I'd love for you to hop over to Hannah's blog aspire and link in.  She's hosting a give-away as part of the promo for Planting Chums.  The image below is of the five items that you can be entered to win.  Blessings on your day!