Anyways, ever since I've written this post about peanut butter and bread I tend to pause as I make sandwiches for my kids. I still put the peanut butter on first...but not without thought and wondering. And that wondering, well, it's good.
Enjoy my blast from the past!
How come you always put the peanut butter on first?
 WHAT? How come I put the peanut butter on first? This morning, as I was making my five year old, Brennan, a sandwich, he looked up at me and asked me about the peanut butter. As I stood there with a knife ladened with peanut butter, I froze at his question. I didn't know what to say. And more than that, I had never thought about why I put the peanut butter on before the jelly. I've just always done it that way. So I told him that I didn't know and that's the way I always do it. And he told me, "maybe you could try to do the jelly first sometime?" Again...I was stunned. Do the jelly first? How does that work? And then I got to thinking about blogging and how this little interaction was worthy of a blog post. You see, putting the peanut butter on first is a habit. Not only is it a habit, but it is one that I don't ever think about why I do it. Certainly in the scheme of life it's a little thing, but my innocent five year old's comments allowed me to ponder choices and responses. Think about this: there are good habits and habits that need to be re-examined. A good habit would be daily waking up and giving over the day and anxieties to our Lord. A bad habit, for me, would be sitting down at the computer in the morning and frittering away time, and then starting late and allowing my own lack of time management set the tone for the day. In that instance, I need to re-evaluate why that pattern is one that I follow. Patterns and ruts in our minds are sometimes difficult to identify. The first step is recognizing that they are there...similar to the analogy of chipping away at the snow in my previous post hard, hard work . The patterns and responses are all there imbedded in who we are as individuals. A response that I'd love to change in myself is instantly feeling irritation when my kids fight. (I know, I know there goes the illusion that my family is perfect...:) ) Anyways, I will hear yelling or annoyance or "MOM" from them and I instantly can feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise. So I started to examine this response. After all, it is an emotion to a situation, it isn't me as a whole, it's just an emotional response to the stimuli of fighting. The first thing I discovered is quite humbling. I am annoyed because part of me doesn't want to be bothered at that moment. I don't want to have to get up from the computer or reading or cooking or etc.. (which I've had to many times throughout this post), I don't want to have to deal with consequences, I simply want to keep my time to myself. The second response, after the initial annoyance, is that I am tired of dealing with the fighting. But, still, it surprises me that my first line of reasoning was, in fact, a bit selfish. I am the mother. Yes, they should work on getting along and patience, but I am also the one that should be there guiding them, leading them. So, now what? I've identified the response, but how do I change it? Well, after prayer and thought, I've realized that I need to work on creating a new response to this situation. And that involves work. It's not easy to change a habit, especially one that is ingrained into who we are as a person. I decided to come up with a strategy for my response to fighting. First, when I hear the arguing, if I feel irritation creeping in I take that and give it to Jesus. I'll take the annoyance and ask Him to replace it with gratitude, wisdom and patience. Gratitude? Yes...thankfulness that He placed me as their mother. I need wisdom. That will remind me to get up and deal with the situation. And finally, patience in spirit for me...so that when I am handling the scenario I can have a heart that is understanding and loving. I also decided to have a conversation with my children. If they are going to expend time arguing, then there will be a consequence. Typically it involves extra chores. I also discussed that they need to give me time to respond. Yelling MOM over and over will not make me move faster. For those that can count, they need to give me to the count of ten to respond. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Even in the course of writing this I've had to battle this pattern. But now, I am aware that this is an old responces, and now I have implemented ways to counteract reacting this way. It's so easy to go through life on auto-pilot. We dash here and there, we shout out answers, we are busy. My encouragement for you is to look at your life and to identify patterns of your own. Do you have any "peanut butter on first" responses? The Lord is good, He will help you discover them. And more than that, with Him you can develop a new pattern. And maybe, it involves putting the jelly on first. "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." Galatians 5:16 |
