crabby mom versus cheerful mom

These days between Christmas and New Years Day are interesting, aren't they?  You still have Christmas decorations up, the house is a mess (at least parts of mine.  I go to my room or the bathroom for sanctuary.  They're probably the only rooms without new toys somewhere.), the schedule is screwed up, the kids have had way too much sugar, and honestly, there isn't much of a plan.

This can make me crabby.

Like Scrooge crabby.

  

(me probably thinking about where I'm going to put those toys)

I slowly begin to remove the snowmen, and the window clings, the Christmas dishes, and crumpled paper.  The clothes gradually make their way from warm bodies to the dirty basket in the laundry room.  Toys begin to migrate from under the tree to their respected homes in various kids rooms. This will go on until the day where I've decided that I've had enough. Then within hours my home will go from looking like a mild atomic bomb went off to clean.  Very clean. At least very clean standards for a family of nine.

I'm kind of like that.  I can put up with stuff for a while and then all of a sudden I can't handle it anymore. It's a mindset -- right?

Kind of like the day I really decide to potty-train my three year old. Or go switch the summer and winter clothes.  Or purge the closets of toys.  Or clean out the cabinets and fridge.  Or clean the truck. Or deal with those over due library books. Or empty the email inbox flooded with 1024 new emails. 

I'm thinking today or for sure tomorrow is the day when I reclaim my space.  Until then?  I'll live with Legos underfoot, and Woody Dolls in the corner, and a Mario Kart figurine on my computer desk, and the sound of the Wii downstairs.  And I won't be crabby about it.  I won't.

Because I know it's just a couple of days.  And their laughter, their freedom, their  is worth more than my need for order. That's what they'll remember.

Crabby mom vs cheerful mom who doesn't mind tripping over a couple dozen new toys.

Today that's my attitude. And, yes, I'll still be slowly taking down some of those decorations that were so artfully placed throughout my home weeks ago.  And I won't complain. 

we homeschool. And...

...we take most of December off.

For years I've found myself stressed out in December.  The schedule bursts with activities, places to go, and things to create.  Instead of fostering an environment of peace, excitement and even joy -- I let my home become a place of anxiety.  Even simple things, like making cookies, became rushed.  We were moving so fast that we lost Christmas.

Then, in the same breath, I'd be trying to cram in our studies.  We'd work through the day, and due to the high level of activities, academics, and Christmas planning, we'd end our day exhausted and ungrateful.

So I stopped.

Several years ago, I realized that I needed to take most of December off from homeschooling.  In fact, I also realized that it is okay to do this -- it really benefits my family.  We need the time to be a family.  To serve others.  To make cookies -- okay, we don't really need it, but cookies are important. When I overloaded our schedule we lost time to focus on our Savior's birth.  I'd rush through Bible lessons to get to Math to get to Spelling to throw some clothes in the dryer to switch out the cookies to knit a couple rows to shovel the walk to take them to ballet to change a diaper to wrap some presents to help with phonics to.....

It was simply too much.

Now, I plan our year knowing that December will be busy.  I'll tuck extra lessons in here or there, or we'll do some phonics or math, or I'll cross out the repeated lessons.  I don't follow my regular schedule.  And I let it go. Sometimes that's even harder as I'll find myself worrying that we didn't get any academics done.  But, I overlooked all we did do.  Like handwriting when we write out letters of thanks.  Or math as we double (or triple -- hee hee hee) cookie recipes.  Or history when we read Jotham's Journey and discuss nomads, and Israel, and more.  I'm amazed at how much we've learned this month -- I'm simply aware to what questions they ask or where their interest is piqued.

Learning doesn't always need to come with a list to check off.

Learning can come in living life.  

So there.  I've admitted it.  I am one of those homeschoolers who gives her kids a good 3-4 weeks off in December.  And I'll tell you one other thing -- when we get to January my kids are incredibly motivated to do their work. They really are.  And so am I.  We're refreshed from Christmas.  Imagine that?  Refreshed and revived instead of stressed and burnt-out. Oh yeah, and I've also discovered that at the end of the year we're exactly where I need to be -- in both scenarios -- knowing that allows me to really relax for these couple weeks.

December, while still busy, is now a beautiful month of freedom, laughter, and joy.

I call this picture - Me, the less-stressed, Mom. 

(thanks, Hannah, for taking it on our girl's day.)

ballet + toys + schedule = random

Last week, I didn't link up with Miscellany Monday.  That was only the second time since it began.  So this week, I've been determined to write my Miscellany post! You all know how much I love this meme.  It's way to fun to be random!

1) I have one blank day a week on my schedule.  Only one.  And it's Friday.  And, now, it's being threatened with an item to do.

reposting my schedule picture

Sunday isn't filled in yet -- notice after that only

three blank Fridays remain.

2) That item?  Ballet practice for this year's Nutcracker Ballet.  I'm praying that my girls get roles that require a Saturday rehearsal --since I'm already there.

that's Hannah with the kids from the 

Creative Movement Class that she student teaches

3) Why?  I drive to North Ballet Academy everyday of the week except Friday and Sunday.  I think our vehicles know the way to ballet.

4) There's a beautiful back road on the way to ballet.  I've been snapping pictures there for the last year.  In fact, I'm getting ready to write a post titled - the road to ballet - stay tuned. :)

here's one of my pictures

this was taken last spring when the river flooded the road

the road closed 12 hours after this picture was taken

 and was closed for 10 days

5) Hannah goes through pointe shoes every six weeks.  That's painful for the pocketbook.

Hannah's screenshot on her laptop

That's her feet -- in pointe

6) For those of you who know me on facebook, you know that several days ago I confiscated about half of my older sons' toys.  They had been told to be stewards of their rooms, and after several days weeks of walking into a messy room every night I decided to follow through -- I came in and removed the toys that were strewn about.

7) It took them two days to notice the toys were gone.

8) They are much happier without all the toys.  Now they actually play with the toys they have left.

9) I could offset those new pointe shoes by selling the bins of toys in the garage.  Hmmmmm.....

10) And finally, to be completely random, I just wanted you to know that I am sipping my Keurig brewed coffee.  Today's blend?  Donut Shop.  And it is good.

Thanks guys!  Have a great Monday.....excellent Monday...amazing Monday....okay, get through Monday!

And remember to link up to my dear friend Carissa's Miscellany Monday thread. :)

reclaiming today

I've been a bit stressed these past couple weeks.  I've been planning our homeschool year.  Looking forward to what might work, and looking back at what didn't work.  Then today, after remembering September 11th from nine years ago I realized something --

In the process I've lost today.

In my prayers I've been reminded of several truths.

1) Time is finite.  Only the Lord knows the number of our days.  While planning and preparing has a definite purpose in life if it takes away from me being present then it must be tempered down.  I've written before about how I have the tendency to utter, "in a minute" to my children -- and then the minute never comes.  Keeping the idea that this moment, this day, is a gift in the forefront of my mind helps me keep perspective.  There's less "in a minutes" and more doing.

2) This too shall pass.  I was reminded of that phrase while blog-reading.  I came across a blog or an article in my homeschooling planning quest.  In that blog, the author talked about the phrase -- this too shall pass. (I'm sorry I don't have the article link.  If you are the author or know the author please inform me.) So often I've looked at those four words as words used in difficult and negative times.  Yet, just last week I was convicted to think of those words in all times. Good and bad.  Yes, I have many, many, many days that are challenging.  Homeschooling is hard.  It really is.  Being a mother and wife takes work. There's finances. And schedules.  Those things will pass.  But, this time will pass as well.  I've found myself stuck in overwhelm over daily life forgetting that this day, this time will pass. There's always tomorrow.  Or next hour. Antithetical to point one?  If they were side by side yes....but keeping the idea that time is finite and it will pass creates this healthy balance of being aware and present today.

3) Bible first.  It's so easy to start our days with what we think needs to be done.  Laundry, or academics, or cleaning, or even playing with our little ones.  But, honestly, Bible and time with the Lord needs to be first.  My main goal this year is to sit at the table with my children and simply read the Bible.  That's it.  No fancy curriculum.  No amazing flannel-graphs or prepackaged charts (although I must say that my chart of Adam's life was cool).  We're just reading verse by verse through the Old Testament -- and are being immensely blessed.  Did you know that the Lord fashioned clothing for Adam and Eve after the fall?  To me, and for my children, we found such tenderness in that act.  He could of let them run around in their strung leaves, but instead, despite their sin, he took time and made them clothing.  That's what we learned.  Together.

just had to show you part of our chart

You see, my friends, I needed to be reminded of the beauty in today.  Today might be my last day on this earth.  I don't want to spend my time angry, or worrying, or sullen, or moody, or ungrateful, or overwhelmed, or overworked, or crabby, or short-tempered, or forgetting.  I want to be alive.  I want to be grateful, loving, peaceful, kind, present, living aware of tomorrow, remembering yesterday and embracing today.

Today is a gift.  Use it wisely.

logistics

There are certain logistics in my house that need attention.  I don't know if it is just me, or having seven children, or too much stuff -- but I need a new system.  A plan. A hug.

Here they are -- in no particular order.

1) Shoes.  We have a teeny entry closet and enough shoes to outfit an army.  Sandals.  Flip-flops. Crocs. Tennis Shoes.  Sport Sandals.  Ballet shoes. Boots. Church Shoes. All times nine. Well, all except the ballet shoes. I have no idea what to do with all these shoes.  Besides our current strategy of throwing all the shoes into the closet, creating a pile as tall as Elijah and quickly, and I mean quickly, shutting the door.

a sampling of shoes outside of the closet

2) Recycling.  In our city they only pick up recycling every other week.  We produce a fair amount of recyclable products.  In fact, it is slightly funny to watch us haul not one, not two, but three or four loads of recycling down to the curb every other Tuesday.  Honestly, by the time the end of the two weeks is coming I tend to just chuck the glass into the garbage.  I've got an order in for the recycling can from the city.  But, sigh -- I'm sure we'll fill that as well.

3) Papers.  Papers.  Papers.  Homeschooling, bills, mail, catalogs, drawings, maps, construction paper -- it never ends.

4) Email.  My inbox currently? 1037 new messages.  Seriously.  Now, before you think that I am insanely popular, let me tell you that in that group are probably 52 messages that I really need to read.  Then they get lost.  In between my notification for winning 2million dollars, and the ad for Kohls and Bath & Body, and the  freecycle notification, and the facebook status replies, and sigh...

My Hotmail Stats

Hotmail

Inbox (1037)

Junk (21)

Drafts

Sent

Deleted (75)

5) Samuel.  Laugh -- here's my logistical prob.  We have no way of properly gating our stairs.  The stairs leading downstairs have a gate bungee corded to the one side.  The stairs up?  I have no way of gating them.  And now, Samuel's new obsession is climbing those stairs.  In the time of writing this post we've had to retrieve him from the 3rd step going up five times.  And, I've only been writing ten minutes.  How do I gate those stairs?

(just had to put this CUTE pic of Samuel up)

6) Laundry.  Feel free to read any of my previous posts regarding laundry.  Hold on -- I need to go grab Samuel -- okay, back.  My new solution to laundry is to have laundry day on -- Monday, Thursday and Saturday.  I can wash and dry, but I need to develop a love for folding and putting away.  I'm learning patience and perseverance.

Laundry Posts

taming the laundry

chaos to order

overlooked power

ok.  There you have my logistic dilemmas for the week.  I'd love to hear how YOU handle these constant needing attention areas.   As the years go by I've learned to throw and donate more and more things.  Anyone need any shoes? ;) I've got some extra....

some honesty & my garage sale finds

I've decided that in order to simplify I need to be honest with myself.  Part of being honest is examining our day, and our structure.  I've come to realize that I'll probably never be the super-scheduled homeschooler.  This pains me a bit to even admit it, but I'm starting to believe it's true.  As much as I crave The Managers of Their Home schedule...with all it's colored labels and charts and planning...when push comes to shove I'm just not that type of gal.  I'm more of a ...I know where you guys need to end up....so I'm going to write it down and you finish that work...but make sure you blog/design/write Hannah, and you cook Chloe, and well...that's just me.

what's the path?

It's kind of hard even talking about not being ultra-schooley (is that even a word?  Let's just pretend it is and move on.)  In fact, I really truly admire my friends that have more rigid routines.  It's hard for me to not compare myself to them. Now, know that I value academics, but I also value flexibility.  As adults we have to learn to adapt to changes in our routines.  Honestly, I think it's important that our children are able to quickly adjust to a routine that isn't normal. Ha...that's probably just my way of making myself feel better about our less-structured routine. That being said, we do have goals.  Hannah and Chloe know that they need to work each day, and accomplish so much in each book.  But, I'm not the let's do math from 9-10am then spelling from 10-10:15 type of mom.

And that still frustrates me.

Somehow I tend to think that I view the ultra-structure as succeeding and the relaxed atmosphere as not...and I'm relaxed!  I've determined that instead of fighting this I need to let-go and embrace the learning style of my home.  My children do outstanding on their tests (it's mandatory here), and yet I still fret if we don't complete everything.  A friend of mine told me that she realized that she made it an idol to complete a book by the end of the school year.  That comment really got me thinking.  Am I putting too much pressure on completing some schoolbooks for the right reason?  If it's so I feel good, then I'm thinking it's not the right reason.  If it takes away from the love of learning and dampens my childrens' spirits then, again, not an appropriate goal.  However, if we've set a goal and we're cheerfully working towards it, that is something to strive towards.

It's got me wondering what other "idols" I've created.  Is a perfectly clean house one?  A green yard?  Appearing to have it all together?  There are so many things that we can focus on which causes us to lose focus on the Lord and His focus for our lives and family.  It had, in fact, become a source of frustration for me to not match up to what I thought the ideal homeschool family looked like.  I compared and then felt I failed.  But, as my homeschooler mentor tells me,

comparison is the death of contentment.

Convicting? It is for me.  So this morning, I woke up and made my kids a treat for breakfast.  Hannah was working on her Algebra, Chloe her math, and Grace was still sleeping.  The boys were playing.  It was calm, and beautiful.  Twenty years from now I know that the memories my kids will take with them will be of waking up and smelling the aroma of breakfast...and seeing me joyful...

breakfast

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One last thing...I was looking through some pictures on my facebook page and came across this picture taken  of my kids decorating Christmas cookies.  Those moments...those breaks from the normal....the freedom to create...to laugh...and to enjoy each other.... are the moments that I, as their mother, desire to facilitate. Yes, we need to be diligent in our studies, but I also need to be diligent in creating these moments for them.

decorating cookies, making memories

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Ok...I had to come back and post my garage sale finds today.  I live in an area with fabulous, and I mean FABULOUS, garage sales.  And I'm the first to get there.  I'll get my Caribou coffee and peruse the deals.  Today I found a bunch of stuff (don't worry...it's not going to clutter my home...it was needed things and I'm having a HUGE sale in a couple of weeks) that I loved.

Here are my two favorites:

only $ 1 -- and I love gardening

cute dance bag for 25 cents

Then I have this amazing friend who gave me two of these chairs.  They're for a kids table (which I'm hunting garage sales for.  I just love them!

new fab chairs

Thanks for enjoying my finds with me!