I think I was secretly hoping that it was all a mistake.
Like maybe they had the wrong labs. Or he just had a really-really-really long case of the flu. Or it was just a fluke. But, deep down, I knew. I knew he had Celiac back in early January. I knew. My momma's heart just knew.
So why did the diagnosis bring me to my knees?
I think the entire event finally caught up. I vacillated between being so joyful it was caught to being so frustrated at myself that he had to deal with it for so long to realizing that his life would never be what society deems as "normal" due to the medical necessity of him eating gluten free. And in that realization of eating an extremely strict gluten free diet came the truth that it is not a temporary thing -- but an entire life thing. His surgeon kept emphasizing to me how strict I had to be as Samuel was literally starving in January. He can't cheat. Ever.
Eating any bit of gluten would destroy that intestinal tract that has now, thankfully, healed.
It's interesting what you deal with in life that you never expected to -- I didn't really know much about Celiac Disease prior to December last year. I'd heard it and probably dismissed it as "so extreme" -- so being placed in this position has humbled me. Opened my eyes. Made me aware.
And made me an advocate.
If we're going to deal with the Celiac card then I will do all I can to get awareness out, to fight for a cure, to fight for Samuel, and to make life, especially for Samuel, as absolutely normal as possible. This is part of my journey right now. Instead of running away, I'll run towards.
And never giving up.
Even though some days I might cry. Just a bit.
And still never ever ever ever giving up.
Rejoicing and finding joy in sweet Samuel's {gluten-free} life.
