the light yoke

The snow has fallen many times this winter.  We've had four winter storms in just over four weeks -- not little storms, but large snowfalls exceeding 8inches at a pop.  And with it? Dark skies.  Overcast.


Where is the sun?


The sun has become lost in a blanket of clouds -- to the point where my little Elijah wonders if it's truly morning. This lack of sunshine wears me out.  


Where is the light?

There are seasons in life where everything is dark and dismal.  Perhaps it's finances, or health, relationships, or just the daily grind of life.  Here there back and forth move move move.  It is difficult in the midst of trials to look beyond the present reality and set of circumstances.  Society and human nature can apply pressures to our lives at an unrelenting pace so that after awhile the future seems to be tainted a dismal and cloudy gray.

Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy,and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you,and learn from me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart,and you wil find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

In the NIV I believe labor is replaced with the word – weary.  Oh, how true those words of Jesus are for us today. Especially now at Christmas time we can seem to labor endlessly -- dishes, laundry, phone-calls, email, cleaning, driving, teaching, cooking, preparing, and on and on and on.   Our work doesn’t cease when the skies of life become overcast, no…we simply press forward.  And yet, after awhile, if we only wear the yoke of the world we'll burn out. I've done it.  So many times.  I was simply wearing the wrong yoke and "too busy" to replace it with the light yoke. Or I was too full of my own pride that I didn't want to let go...

Jesus tells us to come to Him.   In Him is true rest.  I always chuckle when I think about a yoke being called easy.  When is it easy to be constrained?  But, when I read these words I don’t picture life with Jesus being constrained…rather in yoking myself to my Savior I know there is real freedom even in the midst of overcast and weary days.

Who knows when the skies here will finally part and the sun will shine?  I know it’s under there, waiting to shine.  I have faith that there will be sun again.  I also have faith that our Savior is always there, wanting us to release our fears and anxieties to Him and that He will give rest.  A rest that cannot be found in self or in this world, but a rest that is sweet and peaceful…in any weather...in any season.

joy

That doesn't look too joyful. 

Darkness.

There was a huge storm system that swept through Minnesota this evening.  At 6 pm skies were blackened, tricking the mind into thinking it was later. Rain pelleted the windows, and the trees swayed wildly.  There were numerous tornadoes and funnels throughout the area.  In my neighborhood the siren rang multiple times.  I knew I was to go to the basement -- like my children -- and yet I stood at my back door.  In awe.

I stared as clouds swirled in circles, dancing a dangerous waltz.  The utter power of nature, of God, mesmerized me. Then, in the midst of turbulence, complete calm.  The trees in the back yard stood straight, while the trees in the front bent as if bowing to the ground.  I knew I should move -- downstairs -- but I still stared.

It's so easy to start believing that we can control everything.

And yet, there's more. There's real power. Not from ourselves, but from our God. The God of power. A power infinitely more powerful than this storm that we label as power. And that brings me joy. Joy to know that my God, our God, has power beyond my imagination. Joy to know that He can still a storm with just two words.  Whispered. And coupled with that power? An infinite love for you. For me.

And that is reason for joy.

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves,

"Quiet! Be still!" 

Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. (Mark 4:39)

pink peonies

Life can just be so hard.
Sometimes it feels as if those days where you are already struggling you become a free target for a gut punch.  Or a stab in the back. Or just one more problem.
Today was one of those days.

These are the moments where joy feels so fleeting.  So challenging.  Where can it be in the midst of all of this?  My soul aches.  I yearn for a season of peace. The battle makes one weary.  How can I find joy?

Then I see peonies.  Pink peonies that my dear friend, my neighbor blessed me with.  She cares. And in seeing them I start to remember. I remember that there is life beyond the battle.

Then I see Grace running in the backyard.  Free.  Laughing.  Unaware.
There is freedom.

Then I hear Samuel giggling on the carpet in the living room.
There is hope.

Then I remember how Brennan gave me his mega-hug today.
There is love

Then I remember how I love storms and as I write, one is rolling in.
There is power.

Then I remember dinner.  And how fortunate we are to have food.
There is abundance.

Then I remember that even though it's a battle here, I am sitting with Jesus right now.
There is life.

I am not alone.


And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

tires, oh, tires

Oh tires....
How I need you, yet don't want to pay for you.
The time you take from my day makes me ache.
Oh tires...oh tires...
you make me tired.

my pathetic old tires

This post is about tires.  Which do you like?  Radials?  How thick of tread? How many miles?  At what cost?  Do you need an alignment?    NO IT'S NOT. (did I get ya?)

This post is about keeping your head up.  Doing the hard stuff.  Things you thought you couldn't do.  This post is about my last 24 hours.  My challenging last 24 hours.  It's about keeping a smile on even when you want to cry.

First, to set the stage, my husband is traveling and my parents are in New Zealand.  Second, I notice that the tires need to be replaced immediately (who would think with steal tread poking through?).  I take care of it only to find that the tires currently on my truck were the wrong ones.  That last year, when we had four new ones put on the shop put on tires much too small for my 3/4 ton suburban. The tires should NEVER have been on there...it was, in fact, dangerous.  And it wore them out.  Way too early. I replace the front two, and now need to get the back done.  Now, I have a new issue.  Too fight...to get the right ones on, at no to little cost.  Let me just tell you that your blogging friend has been on the phone working, working, working to have this right. The one company won't take them back, the other will, back and forth...back and forth...all day. I've been working.  By myself.  Doing things that I hate.  I hate negotiating, ruffling feathers, and causing a bit of a ruckus.  But, I'm doing it.  Because it's right.

one of my new tires

I am normally not the one to do this.  In fact, my husband typically handles all of this grunt work.  And in this case, really challenging work.  This time?  It fell on my lap.  And, in all honesty, I've been blessed that it has.  I can do this....I can speak my mind...I can state how I feel...I can make it right.  Not on my own strength.  No. I have been seeking the Lord all day, praying and asking for His blessing on this situation.  And it still isn't resolved, yet I feel at peace right now.  The details are overwhelming. The finances way too tight.  Even if the tires get covered there still is a $1000 repair that's imminent. How will it get covered? At this second, I don't know. I have faith that it will.  However, despite all of this I'm ok.  I feel strong...and it's not my own strength.  I'll just keep fighting.  And living, with my head held high.

Now, back to call the auto repair shop....and the goodyear rep...and try to get a hold of my husband...and make dinner...and figure out what to do next...and...

the bobby pin that broke...

...the momma's back.

Well, not really, but almost.  (and between us...this post almost threw me over the edge...I went to hit publish and literally the entire thing vanished.  So this is round 2.  I am determined.)

You know those days?  Those days when you need a blogger to be real and transparent about how life isn't perfect?  Well, I had one of those days.  It was a day where I wanted to pull every single hair off of my head...by noon.  It was a day where the littlest thing seemed to push me over the edge.  

You see we give our kids off the day for their birthday.  It's kind of a way to honor them.  It's relaxing, they can play, laugh, and enjoy each other's company.  Yet, it has it's drawbacks.  The normal routine is out the window, and typically by the end of the day our moods are, well, shall we say fraying a bit?  Except that this day...it happened much earlier.

This wouldn't be so bad, except that yesterday, when I was in the need to get the lawn together mood...see my husband's comment "we're growing kids...not grass."...I decided it was time for the season's first application of weed and feed fertilizer.  That's great!  Green grass!  No weeds!

No kids on the grass.  On the day off.  With limited structure. Ouch.

Apparently yesterday I didn't equate the consequences of having a birthday day off and not allowing my young, active, and loveable boys access to our yard.  Our greening yard, I might add. ;)

our yard...someday

So the day progressively got a bit more tense.  Chaos was beginning to take over, along with the words, "it's not fair," being shouted from various corners of my residence.  I tried to read.  Fail.  I tried to play a game with them.  Fail.  I tried projects.  Fail.  Putting them down for a nap.  Fail.  I needed to get my mood back on track.  Ok. Organizing and getting rid of a laundry basket of toys.  Fail.  The fighting continued.  The grumbling.  The sneaking of food.  Spilling of raisin bran over the kitchen floor that had already been swept six times today.  I was going a bit crazy.

So I pack them up to take Gracie to ballet.  (Grace's little bun was so quickly put together, with little hairs poking out...mirroring my day.)  Now, while we may cut back on our home birthday day obligations, I do keep all outside commitments.  So we started on our way.  And,  I am not joking, within a block of my home massive LOUD yelling began in the Suburban.  Screaming.  Crying.  Pleading.  Over what?

A bobby pin.

My husband heard the noise via my cell phone and told me to pull over and stop until it stopped.  So I did.  I drove that suburban right into the Dairy Queen parking lot.  And we sat there.  The poor patrons must have had quite a sight when they saw that Suburban full of kids with yelling pouring from the creases.  Then Grace looked at the clock, saw that it was 5:37, realized that she would be late and got quiet. I asked them if they were done and they both replied, "yes."  Then I asked them why they were fighting over a bobby pin and Brennan (my six year old) replied

Well, Grace said she needed it for her hair, and I needed it as a tiny sword.

Sigh. All that noise and tension for a 4 cents metal object?

OK.  Truth.  I pulled out of the Dairy Queen parking lot and continued to ballet.  I thought.  I calmed down.  And I prayed.  And I began to gain a bit of perspective.  You see...I had been doing the entire day on my own strength.  It was just me.  It was me who decorated, who wrapped the presents, who cooked, who cleaned, who did yard work, who called the doctor, etc... and I was getting a little bit resentful.  Well, it became all about ME. Me, me, me.  And that, quite obviously, just does NOT work.  At all.  It became a day of relying on my own strength.  And trust me, with my allergies, and a six month-old baby there isn't much extra energy tucked in there.

Grace (center) at ballet

I never stopped to listen.  To pray.  To give my day to the Lord.  I just plowed right into it thinking I could do it. And I couldn't.  I wanted to throw in the towel at lunch time.  And when you're a mom you really can't throw in the towel.  So I became frustrated.  And crabby.  And looking for solutions to soothe my grumbling self.  It wasn't until I surrendered that I began to see the truth.  The truth that I needed to stop focusing on me, and focus on HIM.  Only then did I begin to see and feel the joy again.

We picked up some pizza for Grace and a little cake while she was at dance.  I kept the kids with me in the truck and the littles fell asleep.  Brennan listened to some Greek Mythology cds with Chloe.  And I rested.  Later, when Grace was home I took her sweet face in my hands and told her how blessed I am to be her mom, and how much she means to me, and how honored I am to walk this road of life with her.  Then we ate pizza, and played her new game. We laughed.  I even took Elijah out of his bed so that he could eat birthday cake with us when Dad got home.  And you know what?  It was good.  It was really good.  When I try to carry the loads of life - mom, wife, bills, house, yard, school, errands,etc...- all by myself I'll fail.  When I live with Jesus by my side, with Him giving me strength...then I win.  Bobby pin or not.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12b-13

the light bulb conspiracy

I know.  I know.  That's a pretty cliche title.  But, secretly,  I think it's true.  Why in the world do all the light bulbs die at the same time?

In our house almost all of our light bulbs have burned out.  In a week.  I'll walk in the kitchen, flip on the light, and pop another bulb in our light fizzles out.  The hall light is out.  Two in the family room. One in the upstairs hallway.  And now, four out of five on our chandelier.  (one that I secretly hope to replace...soon) Pretty soon there will be no light over our dining room table. We'll have to eat by candlelight. :)

1 out of 5

We have no light bulbs.  Every time I go to Target I think to myself not to forget light bulbs.  And then, lo and behold, I come home, empty my bags, and discover that once again I did not buy those elusive light bulbs.  I should write a note.  Or stop telling myself, "don't forget."  After all, our brains don't understand the negative so all my  brain is hearing is, "forget, forget, forget."  Maybe I'm trying to secretly see how few light bulbs we can really get by on. Maybe?

It's a great analogy for my kids about how we, as the Lord's followers, are lights.  Is my kitchen dark?  Nope.  I can still see around, can still read a book, and still prepare dinner.  All with one 60 watt lightbulb shining in it's globe.  Where there is light...there is no darkness.(think 1 John 1:6)  Beyond that, it truly illustrates the idea of "two or three being gathered together" with much more power than me just chatting about it.  Think about it.  With one light, there is no darkness. But, with two or three or more the darkness is overwhelmed!

light in the darkness

Maybe I've forgot those lightbulbs so that I can remind myself of the truth.  Even as bloggers we can be light on this online community.  It's easy to overlook the power of our words, and to think that "we're just blogging."  Seriously...we need to reclaim this territory.  We need to be lights in this online world.  That's power.

Now, I promise you that I'll be getting some lightbulbs.  Soon.  I can't chop onions in the dark.  When I do, I'll post some after pictures for you.  Just to show the light.

______________________________

Ok.  Now, you know I can hardly just do a post without a little bit of randomness.  Hmmm...maybe I should switch my catch phrase to, "beautiful, connected, random, life."  Ha ha ha.  That's probably more the truth about me.  It must be the seven kids. ;)

Anyways, we now have caterpillars in cocoons.  That's a step in the right direction.  It was intriguing to watch the caterpillar go through the last step of cementing itself in the cocoon.  That, my blogging friends, is already on my list of potential blog posts.  Let me just state that it didn't look TOO comfortable for that bug. Hmmm...what are we fighting against?  See the post coming?

waiting

Finally, my daughter Hannah is hosting a fun blog post series called 4.  It looks like tons of fun, and I know that I'm going to participate.  Her whole intent is to forge friendships via this blogging community, and to foster new friendships.  Could I slightly, and not so subtly nudge you over there? Click on her cute button and it will take you to her site.



Have a great Tuesday!