I tend to worry.
(if you were my mother and were reading this you would be nodding your head in agreement)
Especially about medical stuff.
We've had our share. Cancer. Hematology issues. Even me and my silly shoulder.
Now with Samuel dealing with his bowel problems I've found myself tiptoeing -- make that running -- to worrying. Google Searching. Wondering. Fearing.
Not praying. Surrendering. Living.
While researching options or possibilities isn't intrinsically wrong, spending hours of time allowing fear to take over just might be crossing the line into the territory of worry.
Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27
And yet, here I was last night, tiptoeing in Samuel's room and checking him sleeping. I made that trip three times - in twenty minutes. One time I woke him up just so that I could hold him. I'd like to state it's because I love to look at that angelic face -- which is true -- but, I've also recognized that I'm fretting over him.
Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. Matthew 19:13
Worrying will get me nowhere. Well, it will make the terrible knot in my shoulder worse, but will not succeed in answering the root cause of Samuel's problems. I simply need to surrender my fear. Let go of the baggage. The answers will come, and when they do we will move forward.
It's all too easy, at least for me, to switch from spending times on my knees in prayer to sitting in front of the computer screen. I admit it. I want to figure stuff out on my own. I'm stubborn in that way. But, I know, really really really know that the Lord is calling me to remember. To remember that He knit Samuel. That He knows Samuel more intimately than I do. That He knows the answers.
That I'm to rest in Him.
And that's exactly what I plan on doing.
Right now.
Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
