Do you ever wonder about the real important?
Today I couldn't stop thinking.
What is life? What are we to do with life?
Sometimes I just get confused. I read blogs about families in the midst of trials and tragedy. I don't understand why so much sorrow in life. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand. Then I read blogs about everyday. About muffins, and scheduling and parenting. I love them. But then my brain hurts trying to rationalize the two extremes.
I get up and live my life. I raise my children and love my husband. I love and live for the Lord. I teach them about the Lord. I help others. I pray. I work. I play and laugh. I cry. I write.
And then tomorrow I do it again.
Am I missing something?
Or is this just life?
Then I wonder. About blogging. And writing. I read a post about an idea being taken from one person who felt slighted that appropriate kudos wasn't given back to her. I wonder some more -- who owned the idea? The words? Then that confuses me more. I write about faith, and life, and homeschooling, and reality, and a large family. What's mine? Do we as bloggers own the phrasing? And does it really truly matter?
Or am I to write just to write?
Isn't life about glorifying the Father in all I do? In those moments where my house is in chaos? When I'm driving in the car as the January snow falls to the ground? Or when I stand in front of the stove making dinner for my family of nine? How about when I rock my 15 month old to sleep? Or laugh with my nine year old? Or cry when I read a blog where a child just died? Or when I help a man with no money at the gas station? Or even when I fold laundry? Or sweep?
Sometimes I just get confused.
Then I look at His Word.
There's hope in trials, peace in a storm, and content to be found in the everyday.
A beautiful life doesn't need to be packaged perfectly.
It's just letting go.
Not worrying.
About numbers, or wording, or if my life measures up.
Because, really, my life is to be lived for the Lord.
When I think this way then my brain hurts less.
And my heart swells with hope.
Content.
(curious about the first picture? it's a pic of a bush in our front yard taken during the latest snowstorm. blurred out like I felt)
(curious about the first picture? it's a pic of a bush in our front yard taken during the latest snowstorm. blurred out like I felt)
