i have to stop

I simply have to stop.

I have to stop watching the raw video footage from the tsunami.

{you know, the footage that every news station shows over and over and over}

Not because I don't care

Not at all

I care deeply.

Very deeply.

I must stop because my heart is becoming numb

and I don't want to become numb to such tragedy.

And yet my heart aches.

I can't sleep well

Images of rushing water cloud my thoughts

Too many videos played too many times.

So much loss.

I just can't anymore.

**

But what I can do is live fully.

Thankful for life

Thankful for this morning breath

Thankful for the butter, jelly, and bread

Thankful for each of my children who greets me

Thankful for the light of dawn.

Thankful for the chores to do

Thankful for my home

Thankful for laughter

Thankful for safety and peace.

Thankful.

Remembering Japan

Praying for Japan

and

Embracing life

Not taking a moment for granted.

Thankful for the gift of today.