to sort or not to sort, that is the question...

Every evening {well almost every evening} my two, wonderful, older boys, Brennan and Caleb, and I tidy their room for bed. And every evening {yes, every evening} their room looks like a bomb went off in there. Brennan's bed is covered in toys -- this amazing story and set -- and there are boxes half empty and overturned and piled.

And honestly? I get so incredibly frustrated.

You see, at night, I'll spend a good 30 minutes with them sorting through their toys and putting the right stuff back in the right boxes. Playmobil here, legos there, army men here, animals there, magnets here, and so on.

And every morning those sorted boxes get mixed up. Within minutes.

They don't really care about keeping the animals separated from the castle guys. All they see is this grand story incorporating all those toys. So they look for the perfect lego man, and the tiger at the bottom of the animal box and the piece of string that happens to be in the corner of the closet. For them, it's a story. Not a mess.

It gets me wondering.

Do I really need to have them painstakingly sort through each object every night? Does my love of organization and order apply to this room? Would it just be easier to purchase several bins and <gasp> let them just put the toys in them? We could still keep large categories {ah the organizing part of me just can't let it go} -- like legos, and animals, and then well, the rest could just get mixed. They can totally clean it -- but the sorting is overwhelming.

They're great boys. Make that awesome boys. I know that when they play in their room they're not pulling toys out to "frustrate mom and make a mess" -- no, they're using their imaginations, and playing with each other, and creating things, and letting their little brothers come in -- those little guys who enjoy emptying boxes -- to play with them.  And every night clean-up becomes this long and tedious and frustrating process.

I think I need to let go. And simplify their room. And their clean-up. And praise them for their play and for their work in cleaning. And just not need it to be "perfect" in my way.

How about you? Toys sorted? Or semi-sorted? Or the giant "just throw it all in there" toybox?

Let this organizing loving momma know so that I can breathe. It's just one room, right?

Next thing you know I'll be putting unfolded clothing in their drawers...

observations about my family

Life with my family is rarely boring. I love the adventure that each of my children brings. And I love being their mother. And in being their mother I've made some interesting observations about our life.

Oranges, peaches, apples nectarines, grapefruit, blueberries, cherries, plums, bananas {well, maybe not bananas as much} do not last long in our family. At all. In fact, if you want to eat one of those precious commodities you must eat it fast, claim it, or hide it for later.

Vacation, especially our trip to Woodland, is valued. We're missing it now. Even though we just got back. And we're counting the days until we can return.

Each of the little boys has their own "theme" song that we tend to sing. Samuel either loves or hates it when we sing his song. Each song kind of fits their personalities.

*

My family creates a large load {who am I kidding} loads of laundry. Sunday night I was placing load 8 of 11 in the washing machine. I think it's only stopped when I slept and when I ran to Caribou for an iced vanilla latte. Anyone like to fold? Or put away?

You will hear the words gluten-frees uttered multiple times throughout the day. The other day I was listening as Elijah {yes, that 4 year old} was telling my uncle about the good gluten free pizza. :)

{Samuel at Pizza Hut with the gluten free pizza that my mother pre-ordered for him}

*

For most of the year we homeschool. I'm what you'd call an eclectic homeschooler. Life is learning -- and I love to encourage my kids to explore their interests and passions. And also finish their math.

A clean kitchen can be destroyed within five minutes. Just ask my older girls. Especially right after their younger brothers decide they're going to come in and make iced tea.

My older daughters -- Hannah, Chloe and Grace -- and I love to watch Food Network. Sometimes I'll fold laundry {see above point} while I watch. Make that most times.

I count my children. Constantly. Even when we were all on the pontoon at the lake. And yes, where I will add worms to a hook and remove fish from them later.

Laughter is normal in my home. The little ones -- and that previously mentioned almost 4 year old -- provide a great deal of laughs throughout the day.

You would be surprised to know that we all got along marvelously in our one bedroom cabin at the lake. It was tight, but we learned to make do. And we also learned to encourage the boys to go outside and explore. But, mainly it was about family and joy.

How about your family? What makes you unique?

Love my acrostic? Did any of you figure it out while you were reading?

Thanks to all who joined in on last week's {friday} favorites -- I'm just now getting around to commenting -- and I'm totally blaming it on the laundry. And putting away of vacation stuff. :)

I'm linking up with Carissa for her very lovely miscellany monday.

the real important

the day was a blur

there was so much to do

writing and deadlines to finish

dishes spilling over the counter

crumbs to sweep

I kept moving

from thing to thing to thing

I'd clean one area and just as I was done

another one needed my attention

it felt urgent

necessary

important

then little Samuel walked over

with his nuk dangling from his mouth

{that i'm trying so hard to break him of}

and his green soccer ball shirt

with the cute plaid shorts

he could see the broom in my hand

and rags in the other

but he didn't care

he didn't see the watermelon stains dotting the floor
or the dishes to be unloaded
or the papers to be tidied

he just wanted a hug

to be in my arms
rest
safe

as I gathered him in my arms
it became so clear to me
LET HIM END THE HUG
not me
with my rushing agendas
and pats
and quick I love you's

so I stayed

and stayed

and stayed

and stayed

as the afternoon light shone through the window
dancing off of our embrace
it was Samuel and me
resting

with now not so important work around

so I let him end the hug
when he was ready

and I was blessed.

the crumbs can stay

I saw the kitchen needing work. There were breakfast dishes piled high in the sink, and a floor needing to be swept and mopped, and counters sprinkled with cereal crumbs and smears of jelly. It was late. Our morning jobs -- which should be done before nine -- hadn't even been started.

I felt myself getting annoyed.

Didn't the chores come first? I could feel the aggravation rising as I walked through my half done and not so spotless kitchen.  I was ready to get everyone working on what I thought needed to be done.

Until I saw this.


The dirty counter didn't matter -- in fact, it seemed awfully petty all of a sudden.  So what that we're a bit behind schedule. That didn't matter.

The relationships matter.

The bonds between a 13 year old and her 3 year old brother make life impressions.

Those daily duties? Yeah, they'll get done, in time. And you know what? That kitchen will get messy again -- within the day. But, today, at this moment in the morning, I'm glad -- I'm grateful -- that my sweet Chloe chose to say "no" to the work and "yes" to her brother. That matters.

Humbled. Again.

Taught by my own.

one thing

In the morning it feels as if I can get everything done.

I rise, thinking that I'm super mom, the one who will tackle her list by eleven, and then spend the rest of the day in creative endeavors. We'll bake our bread -- gluten free, of course, and knit, and write letters, and refold laundry, and prepare an amazing dinner for ourselves and to share, and end the evening retelling the day in a  brilliant one act play.

And then the morning comes.

And then real life happens. There are diaper changes, and laundry that is still waiting to be folded, and four days of math work to correct, and not enough cereal for breakfast, and last minute supplies to be found, and no idea what I'm going to serve for lunch much less dinner.

It's easy to get discouraged.

It's easy to let all the ways I wish I could do the day overtake my day -- and then the simplicity of doing the real things gets lost.

So I do the next thing.

That's it. When I look at the whole list I see failure and incomplete and "I'll never make it" and too much.  The list never ends. I'll never ever finish laundry in my entire life.  There will always be dinners to make and chores to do.

I don't use the list to determine success.  Instead, it's a guide, a compass in my path of daily life.

I just do the next thing. Whether it's wiping up the cereal from the floor or playing a game, at that moment I try to whole-heartedly do one thing. It's a simple step.  Many times when I feel overwhelmed I'll tell myself just - do one thing, one thing, one thing - and gradually I'll discover that many things get accomplished.

Life isn't about finishing the list.  After all if I focused on always finishing the list and lived overwhelmed I would lose.  I'd lose relationships, and moments of discovery, and joy.  Because that list? So often it's about just me. And I can't live that way allowing a list to determine my accomplishments.

I can do one thing.

And I can do it joyfully.

notes to self

Here are some of my recent notes to self.

~Toys can look either messy or beautiful depending on perspective.  I'm trying to see them the latter way.

~Let your little ones jump in puddles in the spring. Even in the Target parking lot. Even if it means walking around and finding a puddle that is acceptably deep so that it makes a rewarding splash.

~Do not worry about puddle splashed pants and shoes. It's March, and we've endured a long winter. In fact, it will produce many laughs if you jump in the puddle with them.

~When you rise in the morning make coffee for your husband before you make your own.

~When children don't want to complete academics they will resort to using anything as an SOS. And you will only have your camera phone to capture a photo AND the lighting will be bad.

~Inevitably your favorite shirt will go through the dryer on high heat.  Therefore get as many initial wears out of it before doing the first, and perhaps fateful, last wash. Sigh. Now I miss that black sweater even more.

~The pillows that you put on the couch will find their way on the floor in a matter of minutes when children live in your home.

~Those same pillows make excellent play for making some "fun" sandwiches.

~Those same pillows also made a little nest for newborn babes. Including once little itty-bitty Samuel.

~A smoothie always tastes better with just a bit of icecream.

~Expect that little ones will want to play piano with you.

~Never misplace Algebra Teacher's Manuals.  Ever. Ever. Ever.

~Even though I'm a ballet mom that doesn't mean I need to know every term.  And lift my leg like they do -- it looks just too painful and yet they make it seem easy. {and that would be Hannah with her leg in an easy stretch}

~The tights that you just purchased for those ballerina daughters will snag and develop a run.  Don't fret. Even though they were almost $13. Just invest in some good clear nail polish.

~Everyone will get the idea to check out at the same time at Target.

~Prepare your kids before walking into the store that we will not be buying impulse items in the checkout line.  And then do not purchase any for your self. No matter how good those chocolates look.

~And if you do cave and by an impulse item for yourself expect that the cashier will loudly ask if you'd like to keep it out instead of putting it in the bag. Be prepared to share.

~Teeth under baby teeth that get knocked out by a friend's knee on a trampoline can take months and months to finally make an appearance.  At least I'm hoping it'll be any month soon....especially since this was in October and it's now, what, March?

~The big blue ball for $2.89 at Target that looked so cute and fun in the store will become the thorn in your side in the days to come as it is bounced, rolled, dropped, kicked, thrown, jumped on, sat on, and passed around your living room.

~Writing down these notes to self reminds me of the sweet and beautiful moments in life.

~And they also remind me to always date the half and half in the fridge with a black permanent marker so that one's morning coffee (or their husband's coffee) does not get soured half and half. Which, by the way, no amount of sugar can ever mask.

~In Minnesota it is acceptable to NOT wear a coat when the weather hits 45 degrees in March.  And you just might see some people in shorts.  That's the truth. All we need to see is just a bit of grass. Or have temps above 28.

Have your own note to self?

What would be one thing you've learned this week?

It can even be not to park next to free standing carts on windy days.

{not sure how I learned that one.}

I'd love to hear!

~Rachel

And, if you've got a lovely springy photo

 -- including ones of grass that is peeking through that thick layer of snow -- 

that you'd love to share head on over to Hannah's blog for her One Word Wednesday link up! 

 Click below. :)

a necessary reprieve

I have a dear friend who wrote me a sweet birthday note on facebook.

These were her words --Happy Day that the Lord brought you in to being...Praying that you- and all that you do, especially being that mirror reflecting God's love for His/your children, feel celebrated today. The word reprieve is coming to mind- so, this too I shall pray as I lift you to Him, even if the temporary relief is short...may it be sweet and you bask in His Light, His gift to you! Continuing to stand with you, Rachel ♥ -- (Thank you, sweet Cheri).

I received note after note and prayer after prayer from you, my blogging friends (thank you for your many birthday wishes), from my family, my church friends, and more that mirrored those words -- specifically that I would have a day of laughter, and fun, and fellowship.

A reprieve.

After taking Samuel to the doctor in the morning I came back home to find out that my family planned a surprise celebration for me.  There was an entire list of activities -- including a much needed nap -- planned for the day.  My house was spotless, there was fabulous gluten free food -- including a favorite Pad Thai -- and there was so much laughter. Laughter playing my ridiculously silly and fun new game Quelf.  Or lining up to take silly pictures in the photobooth that Hannah prepped.

Everyone knew.

I needed to laugh.

My heart has just been so heavy with my Samuel lately.

It was a beautiful thing to just laugh.

{And be a tad bit silly.}

(that would be me and Hanni and Chloe -- looking goofy)

 And to let the worries slip away, just for a bit.

Thank goodness for birthdays and good friends and a beautiful family.

I was blessed.

a rule completed

back in December I wrote a post about my rules.  This post, by the way, was one of my most hit posts of all time -- thanks to my publishing network Blogher promoting it on Facebook.  Want to know another popular one?  And it's not about the writing?  It's about the subject. It's my miscellany monday post inspired by the movie Elf.  Ha ha ha -- I get hits simply because people search Elf quotes.

Anyways.
Back to the post.

I completed one of my rules yesterday.
That would be the rule--

:: build snowforts with your children.::

It started snowing these huge puffy flakes and at 10:14 am I closed the spelling book, threw on some boots and went outside with the kiddos.  It was glorious.  There was beautiful freedom in surprising my kids with a morning buried in the Minnesota snow.

 Oh yeah, and, yes, I am really truly completely that silly sometimes.  And my kids love it.

We made it have three rooms -- including a storage room for treasure -- inspired by our study of the Egyptian Pharaohs. I mean, truly, every snow fort must have that secret room for ice treasure.

Caleb is sitting on the royal snow throne carved into the corner of the large room.

Mister Brennan resting.  Although I'm not sure why -- cause his momma dug most of the fort out with her garden shovel. :)

Want to know really why I build it?  Really?  The picture below is why.  Completely.

It's okay to take a snow day.

It really is.

in our family

:: we call peanut butter and jelly sandwiches PGJ's.  Thanks to a 3 year old who didn't say B.

:: we decorate the kitchen the night before a birthday so that the birthday person wakes up to a celebration.

Brennan and Grace - November 2006

:: we hang the number of streamers as the age on the birthday family member's door.

:: we never seem to be caught up on laundry.

:: we constantly are telling little one's to be careful when shutting doors.

:: we homeschool -- in our kitchen.

:: we have science experiments on my kitchen window sill and on the counters.

:: we've homeschooled for ten years.

:: we have Nerf basketball hoop on our family room door.

:: we no longer have the basketball.

:: we go through an entire box of Clementine Oranges in one day.

:: yes, one day.

:: we have a rotating chart for kitchen duties.

:: we love art.

:: we have a massive garage sale in the spring.

:: we have to move many many many bikes from the garage and put them on the front porch.

:: we can be goofy.  Just slightly. :)

:: we have a Keurig coffee maker that has been used every single day since it's purchase.

:: we have a birthday to celebrate  8 months out of the year.

:: everyone has their own birthday month except for Samuel and Caleb -- they share September.

:: Samuel was due in October.  If he had been born then we'd all have our own month.

Samuel in October 2009 - 2 weeks old

:: we have the kids exchange names for Christmas

:: we forgot to do that this year.

:: we love watching The Food Network

:: we really really really listen to our kids.

:: we believe parenting is a great responsibility -- one that must be covered in prayer.

:: we take our kids out for one on one time

:: we garden.

:: okay, I garden, but my family reaps the rewards.  Who doesn't like fresh peas? Or tomatoes?

:: we work together

:: we love being with our children.

:: we love samples at Costco

:: we can easily fill the back of the truck with food for the week.

:: we eat lots of fruit. Remember the Clementines?

:: we go to the lake in the summer with my family.  Every year since I was eight.

that's our dock -- sigh

:: we use big blocks of time at the dentist. Or eye doctor.  All done at once!

:: we provide lots of business for medical professionals.

Brennan before his tonsil surgery

:: we love to play Fruit Ninja on Chloe's Ipod Touch

:: we, okay that's me, wishes for an Ipad.

:: yes, my word is content.  I'm working on it.

:: we are thankful for Saturdays.

:: we share.

:: we believe that family is a gift. 

old fam pic -- 2007 -- 2 weeks before Elijah was born

*************

How about you?

What are some of your -- in our family -- lines?

cleaning and scrubbing and folding and washing

can wait.

It can simply wait.

Those dishes? Or the pillows that fell off the couch? Or the Lincoln Logs that need to go back in the box? Or the mirror that needs to be wiped? Or the laundry that should be switched?

That can wait.

It's okay.

Yesterday was our first day back to our homeschool routine.  I had spent hours the day before planning the week -- with a hand drawn chart (no fancy charts for me) -- so I was ready to go.  We had our agenda.  The kids were eager. As was I, despite that awful aching back and shoulder that pestered me throughout the day.

But, I had to fight myself.

Many times I had to stop from doing just that one thing.  I'd see a couple of dishes and want to take care of them -- while my kids would wait.  Or I'd feel myself frustrated over the blankets on the floor. Or I'd tell them I'll be right back and just spend what I thought was a couple minutes picking up stray legos in the boys' room.

I made myself wait.

We have times during our day dedicated to chores and cleaning.  I knew they were there, and yet I wanted to take care of everything and have the house closer to perfect.

But I waited.

This is terribly challenging for me.  Yet, I knew that I was to focus on them, and the weather cycle, and those division problems, and that literature, and reading to my little ones.  They trump.  They are simply more important than quick washing those dishes + folding the laundry + just a short vacuum + one quick phone call = time away from them.  When we as a family work together doing our chores and tidying it only takes 30 minutes.  Why on earth was I trying to pull myself from my kiddos to clean?

There is contentment found in waiting.

After about 8 times of battling myself and forcing myself back to the table I began to feel flooded with relief.  I didn't realize how much I used busy work to pull me away from the real important.  I'd make excuses in my head -- what if someone comes over? or I can't function with 4 dirty dishes on the counter -- and yet they were just excuses to avoid doing the hard work.

Hard work that is fruitful.  And beautiful.

This work involved me sitting beside them.  Laughing as we read together, marveling as we drop vinegar on certain rocks which causes a reaction causing them to bubble, have encouraging words as my seven year old works hard on reading, playing trains over and over.

And gradually this work made my heart content.

I was content to let my "busy" agenda go.

And then they were content.

goodbye lights, ornaments, and 2010

 
Yesterday I took the Christmas tree down.  That thing probably could have been up for a couple more weeks -- it was still drinking water and the needles were barely falling off.  Yet, it was totally time for me to remove it from the house. We needed space.  But, more than that, I like to start the new year without the Christmas stuff up and the house clean.

There is beautiful closure found in taking down the tree.

As I put away each ornament and pulled down the strands of light I began to ponder next year. I wondered what my life would be like when I unwrapped the strands of light.  I thought about life changes, and challenges and growth.What will life be like the next time I touch these lights? How will things change? How will they be the same?

Ornaments and decorations are interesting.  You pack them up at the end of the year only to unpack them at the almost end of the following year.  Year after year they are pulled out.  There is a beautiful nostalgia in this tradition.

As I pondered the future I also remembered this year.

Samuel 
Your first birthday. How grateful I am that emergency doctors and surgeons recognized that you needed help when you swallowed that sequin star.  We are so blessed by you in our lives.

Elijah
Your voice.  You started the year as a 2 1/2 year old who talked just a bit, and now as the year closes, you talk a blue-streak.  You are hilarious. And full of spunk. And feisty.  And such a gift.

 

Caleb
What can I say?  You are my hero. This year you started to read.  You are deeply caring.  Not a day goes by where I don't hear from you, "love you mom." You have a beautiful heart, my son.

Brennan
Super strong man.  With a heart for God.  You made me so proud when you were in your Pirate Musical.  Watching you on stage filled my heart with joy.  You are a reader, and a helper, and the leader of the band of brothers. And you look so awesome missing those front teeth. :)

Grace
My ballet princess.  You are so beautiful.  This year you dove into ballet -- and the result is exquisite.  You help me out so much.  I am blessed by your company and am so grateful to be your mom.

Chloe
This is my last year with you before you turn 13.  It seems like I just looked into your beautiful blue eyes when you were born.  And now, you're just about as tall as me.  Your heart is so tender, so pure, so focused on the Lord.  Thank you for reminding me how beautiful it is to be real.

Hannah
My oldest.  I have seen you start the year with an interest in photography which has now shifted to a passion for photography.  You capture our lives with every click.  Thank you for living your life for Christ.  Your faithfulness encourages me in my own daily walk.

Todd
My faithful husband.  This year marked five years since you were diagnosed with cancer.  These years have been hard -- ripple effects from being out of work for months due to cancer -- and yet despite the difficulties they have been beautiful.  Full of gifts, and hope, and a future.  I love you.

So now the 2010 tree is outside plopped in the snow. This journey, this Christmas, is coming to a close. Tomorrow marks a new year. New challenges. New joys.   Life keeps moving.  Time flies by.  I want to live.  Alive. Aware.  And grateful.

"For I know the plans I have for you,"

 declares the Lord, 

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 

plans to give you a hope and a future."

 Jeremiah 29:11