to sort or not to sort, that is the question...

Every evening {well almost every evening} my two, wonderful, older boys, Brennan and Caleb, and I tidy their room for bed. And every evening {yes, every evening} their room looks like a bomb went off in there. Brennan's bed is covered in toys -- this amazing story and set -- and there are boxes half empty and overturned and piled.

And honestly? I get so incredibly frustrated.

You see, at night, I'll spend a good 30 minutes with them sorting through their toys and putting the right stuff back in the right boxes. Playmobil here, legos there, army men here, animals there, magnets here, and so on.

And every morning those sorted boxes get mixed up. Within minutes.

They don't really care about keeping the animals separated from the castle guys. All they see is this grand story incorporating all those toys. So they look for the perfect lego man, and the tiger at the bottom of the animal box and the piece of string that happens to be in the corner of the closet. For them, it's a story. Not a mess.

It gets me wondering.

Do I really need to have them painstakingly sort through each object every night? Does my love of organization and order apply to this room? Would it just be easier to purchase several bins and <gasp> let them just put the toys in them? We could still keep large categories {ah the organizing part of me just can't let it go} -- like legos, and animals, and then well, the rest could just get mixed. They can totally clean it -- but the sorting is overwhelming.

They're great boys. Make that awesome boys. I know that when they play in their room they're not pulling toys out to "frustrate mom and make a mess" -- no, they're using their imaginations, and playing with each other, and creating things, and letting their little brothers come in -- those little guys who enjoy emptying boxes -- to play with them.  And every night clean-up becomes this long and tedious and frustrating process.

I think I need to let go. And simplify their room. And their clean-up. And praise them for their play and for their work in cleaning. And just not need it to be "perfect" in my way.

How about you? Toys sorted? Or semi-sorted? Or the giant "just throw it all in there" toybox?

Let this organizing loving momma know so that I can breathe. It's just one room, right?

Next thing you know I'll be putting unfolded clothing in their drawers...

the boys

As the summer days increase their hourly stretch of sunlight my older boys can be found spending most of their days outside. Playing. And imagining.

Here are some of my top ten you might have boys around tips.

1} Never approach a bush, or pine tree, or tree without first assuming there might be a little boy hiding inside. And even if you see that flash of blue always be surprised when discovering him. Congratulate him on his stealth ability.

2} Elaborate forts can be made simply by carving away a niche in those pine trees, placing down some wood, and finding an old painters tarp. All together? Equals the idea of a boy's Better Homes and Garden paradise.

3} Little boys {especially ones who play in hideouts most of the afternoon} are rarely clean. Always invest in a good stain remover. My favorite? Zout.  And learn from me -- khaki shorts + dirt = hard to clean. So also invest in numerous pairs of khaki shorts at local garage sales for fifty cents each.  Then call them play clothes and don't worry about the stains. :)

4} Make sure to also check large maple trees for climbing boys. And don't cut all the branches off that are close to the ground. Yes, it may look better, but for the sake of those climbing little ones they need a starting branch. Plus, when they're grown you'll look back and be grateful for those lower branches that you left for them.

5} Just in case those khaki shorts from tip number three looked too good I thought I'd share the front view as well. Note that the bottom of the shorts makes an excellent napkin replacement. So while you invest in Zout your napkin budget {in the summer} will drastically decline.

6} Sometimes you can catch them looking angelic. Have your camera ready and snap away. When you ask them what they were thinking the answer will probably be -- how do I make a better roof for the fort or I wonder what would happen if I hang from that branch or can I have a snack 'cause I'm starved.

7} They prefer to go barefoot. Don't bother buying fancy shoes. And don't buy light-up blinky shoes once they're past three. They will not wear them.

8} Even the littlest of boys will like to play with sticks.

9} The littlest of boys will always want to play with the bigger boys. Great big brothers {like Samuel has} will include their little brother. Even though his idea of fun might not match up with their idea of fun. Remind those older boys that naptime {or bedtime} is around the corner.

10} And last, but not least, little boys {under two} are not ashamed to stop and smell the flowers. Or else pick it. So purchase marigolds -- they're hardy and cheap.

Have a wonderful Monday!  I'm off to wash those above khaki shorts, prepare numerous pbjs, round up the nerf guns, and play with those fabulous boys of mine. Make sure to pop over to my friend Carissa's blog for more lovely monday miscellany.

Any you might have a boy lessons that you've learned?

see this sweet guy?

He's Caleb.

And he's independent.

And this morning -- I almost forgot to see the good, the strong, the independence.

Instead I saw what I thought was wrong.

We were in those last minutes before church. You know those minutes -- crazy times -- running around looking for that lone lost shoe, and rushing kids up to the bathroom {even though they'll ask to leave during the sermon}, and quick bites to eat.  Caleb was hungry so he decided to get himself a bowl of cereal. With sugar.

All I saw was spilled sugar.

I almost blurted out some annoyed words about the trail of sugar between the cereal bowl and the sugar bowl. But, for some reason I saw that face and had a moment of pause.

I was only seeing what I deemed a mistake, not the independence. The good. The growing up.

Why was that 1/4 teaspoon of sugar all I saw? Why did that become the important?

For that split second when I realized the truth my heart stung. I realized that instead of praising him I was so close to getting after him. He wasn't being careless -- he's five -- he was trying to help. Be independent.

So instead I told him great job, and that he's such a helper, and how proud of him I was.

Next thing I know, without me even asking or mentioning it, he went and got a paper towel and cleaned up the sugar {and yes, most of it's on the floor}. He sat down, looked at me, and smiled. A proud "I did it" type of smile.

Thank goodness that we as mothers get those moments of clarity.

I just need it more often.

****

When have you had that moment of sweet clarity?

little sayings

1} Mother's Day was lovely. I really am so grateful to be a momma -- each of my children brings me so much joy. At church I played a piece on the piano for the offering and at the end I had my sweet Caleb {who is five} come up with Hannah. Right when I finished he spoke into the microphone and said, "thank you moms." It was unbelievably sweet.

{that's my Caleb man}

2} Even sweeter? I could hear him whispering on stage and I heard him saying, "I can't do this, Hannah, I can't." But, he did it. Perfectly.

3} Even sweeter than that? I found out that he was so nervous back stage with Hannah that she spent the entire time praying with him and encouraging him. She WILL make a great mother some day. She's already an awesome big sister.

{Caleb and Hanni}

4} Caleb will make a great husband. Seriously. He is so tender and attentive to the needs of others -- especially me. He was so excited for Mother's Day -- he woke up early -- excited to give me a hug and to present me with my Mother's Day present. A homemade lego set. Now, come on, it doesn't get any better than that -- especially because he told me I'll get it for a whole day.

{that's my Caleb giving me a great hug}

5} Speaking of Caleb, he'll always tell me about how much he likes dinner. I told him that his wife will love that, and he replied, "I'll always tell her how much I like her food. Even if she cooks mushrooms, like you." Ha, ha, ha....I must use mushrooms a bit too much for his five year old palate.

6} Last line of Caleb's.  He was in the bathroom brushing his fabulous copper-colored hair and he stated, "Man, God gave me great hair." Those are priceless words from a five year old.  Especially one truly with great hair -- look at that {unedited} color from a couple summers ago. And the freckles. :0

7} Those moments are why I love being a mother. Even in the hard days, or lack of sleep days, or challenging days, it seems as if there are good and beautiful moments sprinkled in the midst.  Love that. 

Any cute sayings from your little ones?

Write them down. Or facebook them. Or blog. Just write them down -- there are many sayings that I've forgotten that I wish I remembered.

Now, I'm off for my Monday. I'm taking part in a cool webinar today {more details to come} and then we've got ballet, and teaching, and yard work, and laundry. And I'm tired. Because today, at 5:30 in the morning I woke to the sound of hail on our roof. That is not a wonderful noise -- I'll be taking a walk once it stops lightening and raining to check for damage.....

Have a great Monday! And link up with my friend Carissa -- she's got the winning bracelet from my Legacy Bracelet giveaway on her post today. It is gorgeous.

choosing the right color

Caleb had been asking me to color with him all day. From the moment he woke, through breakfast, after some academics, and through the morning.

Mom, can you color with me?

I kept telling him those dreaded and over-used mom words - in a minute - and continued on with my work. What I deemed important for those morning minutes.  The dishes were unloaded, and the counter wiped, and the room tidied. I vacuumed the carpet and hung coats. I was feeling great. Accomplished.

Till I looked at the table and saw Caleb. Sitting there.

Waiting.

Mom, can you color with me, now?

I looked around. There were still more things to be done. After all, the top of the piano still had books on it, and there was a rug to be shaken out, of course math to teach, lunch to figure out, and I still needed to get Samuel out of his pajamas. I had so much work that I thought I needed to do.

There he was - coloring away - looking up every once in a while wondering if I would come.

Mom, can you color with me? Please? 

The cleaning wasn't done.

The list of things to do would have to stay unfinished.

Because at that moment I put down the list and picked up the real important list. Instead of focusing on everything that was important to me, I began to focus on what was important to my five-year old copper haired little boy sitting at the table. Waiting.

And then his important became my important.

The cleaning waited.

Because we colored.

no, I'm going to say yes.

Mom, can I come with? 

not today

Could I have a snack?

not right now

Mom, would you read with me?

no, later

Mom, would you play a game?

not at the moment

Can we paint?

no, it's too messy

Would you go outside with me?

no, I've got laundry

What is wrong with me?

Where in the world did my YES go?

Yesterday, I listened to my words. I kept close attention to the automatic no's that came from my mouth. It is my natural tendency to say no -- before I even listen to the question.

So yesterday, I chose to intentionally sprinkle my no's with yes.

{because after all there are real reasons to say no that need to stay.}

Caleb came to me at 5:34 as I was running quick to the store to get extras for dinner.

Mom, can I please please please come with?

My mouth started to form that no word and I stopped.

Yep, Caleb, go grab your coat.

That sweet boy.

He grabbed his coat, flung it on, velcroed the worn and in-need of replacing black shoes on the wrong feet, looked at me with eager eyes, and grabbed my mittened hand.

We were just going to the grocery store.

But, for him, this was the adventure. A big deal.

And I almost told him no.

So as we walked through the Coborn's Market  he kept talking about how this was the best day ever. {which if you knew him is his trademark phase -- that and the worse day ever, which he might utter if I tell him to eat all the veggies on his plate.} We walked to the natural food section and began to look for some gluten free snacks.  Once he spotted these over-priced gluten free, yet made with juice, gummy worms he was set. He wanted those gummy worms.

So I told him yes.

I don't think that grocery store ever saw a happier boy wandering around clutching a $2.99 bag of gluten-free gummy worms talking about how he was so glad they were gluten free.

Ever.

We got to the car, and I opened those worms, and he pulled the first one out for me.

I wanted them for you because you don't eat gluten, mom.

And to think I almost missed it.

Let me tell you.

It was worth it.

*******

Where are your automatic no's? 

Do you need to surprise your kids? your spouse? your self?

 with a yes?

I live a holding hands life

That would be me.

A holding hands kind of gal.

In fact, my life is a holding hands type of life.  I've learned about the importance of family and friends and faith.  And those truths go hand in hand (get it) with holding hands.  Sharing your heart with others, and being willing to give your heart, your time, your attention, your love to those dear to you.  It's connecting -- in good, bad, happy, joyful, sorrow, fear, and "I just need you" times.

Like last night.

My awesome (and very sweet) five year old Caleb woke in the middle of the night with a bad dream.  He cried for me, and I came immediately.  After using the bathroom (which is what really woke him) he told me he had a bad dream.  Then in the next breath he said -

I need you to say some prayers for me, momma.

I brought him back to his room and said those prayers with him.  But I didn't leave.  My tired body wanted to slip back into my warm bed and try to find some elusive sleep before Samuel woke. But my momma's heart knew I was to stay there.  With him.

So I pushed away bits of Legos, and Playmobil, and army men, and books.  As I was quietly dropping them into boxes -- unsorted -- my little Caleb told me he was sorry for the mess.  I didn't care.  I grabbed a Thomas the Train blanket and a Spiderman pillow and laid on the floor next to his bed.

Momma, will you hold my hand, please?

As I grasped his hand -- which still fits inside mine -- he started telling me how much he loved our family.  He thought of everyone's names and then even added his good friend whose name happens to be Caleb.  His hand was sweaty and he'd squeeze mine.  After a bit I could feel his body relaxing.  Calming down.

Momma thanks for holding my hand.

Words worth the hard floor, the lego guy under my back that I missed, the aching arm, and no sleep.  We're just a holding hands kind of family.  I've seen it.

I stayed there half-asleep and half-awake until I heard little Samuel's cries.  As I stood to leave, I gently pulled my hand from Calebs and started walking out of the room tiptoing over all the lincoln logs and books that I shoved to the side.  Quietly I moved away.

Momma I love you.

Makes holding hands in the middle of the night so worth it.

the domino effect

It's one of those days.

Last night, my Chloe felt awful before bed.  Gracie was already sick.

This morning my family fell like dominoes -- Hannah, Brennan, Caleb, Elijah, Chloe, Samuel, and myself.  We're coughing like there is no tomorrow.  The only one that feels okay, be it slightly?  Grace and my husband, Todd.

Sigh.

This is one of the reasons I don't like winter.  But, I'm not going to grumble anymore.  Nope.  Instead I'm going to list some beautiful benefits of dealing with a sick family.  Not that I ever want them sick, mind you, but if I looked only at everyone being sick, and feeling sick myself, I would end up in overwhelm.

So therefore, I give you some silver lining moments from this bout of illness.
 Twenty reasons to be exact. :)

1) I get many more hugs.
2) I get many more "I love you, Mom's"
3) There isn't any racing around our main level.
4) The fighting level drops drastically.
5) Many books get read.  (and yes, more television viewing...I've got to be real, right?)
6) I get a nap. Maybe.
7) It is not a vomit sickness.
8) It is not a vomit sickness.  (I had to type that twice.  I am SO grateful to have dodged that bullet)
9) My house stays clean.
10) We all realize how much we love each other.
11) We all realize how great it is to feel well.
12) I get to blog at 8:30 in the morning versus 5:30 in the morning or 11 pm at night.
13) Now, I get to go down in my family room, snuggle under a blanket with Eli and watch Curious George.
14) We learn about science when we discuss the benefits of a fever.
15) I finally can use the massive amount of Kleenex tissues that I bought at Costco
16) It is not vomit sickness.  I know, I know, I know.  Just had to mention it one more time.
17) The amount of running around I do in the Suburban will drop down to nothing.
18) We'll save gas money.  And food money -- since we're only eating chicken noodle soup
19) It only seems to last several days and Samuel's has NOT developed into croup.
20) Hopefully tomorrow we'll feel better - then I'll write a new list -- a list of health!

extra snuggle time

Do you have any "getting through the sick time tips" to share?  If so, please do.  I'd love to know.  Feel free to list your silver lining moments as well.  So often it's perspective, isn't it?

Blessings and health on your day!

what happens...

when your five and seven year old swipe the camera?

You get this:

  and this

and this

and my computer screen
 (which needs to be cleaned)

and then you get a joyful gem 

like this

Elijah Nathaniel

the ice planet

1) My Caleb is a Star Wars fanatic.  He's five.  When he was only three years old he found our Nintendo DS with the Star Wars game in it and loved to attempt to play it - even though he didn't know how to get out of the Cantina -- which was the opening menu scene.

that's Caleb when we were at the lake

he's probably thinking about Star Wars

2) Sometimes I'll plunk out a few notes from some of the various Star Wars themes on our piano.   Why?  Because every single time, no matter where Caleb is, he'll come running down to our living room with excitement and his arms waving as he hums the theme.

Hannah captured this beauty

3) Last year I took my kids to the Minnesota Orchestra for a Movies and Music concert.  Even Caleb.  Why, again?  The first song they played was the theme from Star Wars.  Caleb literally jumped up out of his seat and started using his program as a light saber.

4) The other fave of Caleb -- and Brennan?  Legos.  They spend hours building with Legos (and I spend hours cleaning).  And taking pictures with my camera of their creations.

legos, legos, legos everywhere

5) Moms with kids who play legos -- I have a question for you -- do you make them keep the sets together? I mean because the Ice Planet Hoth's Wampa Cave was almost $40. It bugs me when it gets mixed into the Lego boxes, and yet after a while we just let it go.  I do save the directions.

6) Speaking of ice, we had a nasty ice storm here in Minnesota.  My in-laws (including my sister-in-law) were in an accident on their way home from our home. The ice coated the roads instantly, and when they were about 2 miles from their home they approached a hill where everyone stalled or spun out.  My father-in-law attempted to get up the hill, stalled, and then was hit by a car going over the hill who couldn't stop.

7) They found out the next day that the man who hit them was trying to go help his daughter who spun-out a mile farther down the road. There were almost 400 accidents in the metro area.  After 11 pm.

8) My in-laws are fine.  My mother-in-law sprained her wrist.  However, they had to wait over 4hours in the ditch.  With eight other cars.  Including a pizza delivery guy who spun out after them and ended up right next to them.  The police officer joked that maybe they'd all end up with free pizza.

9) Their car?  Probably totaled. (Although I really hope not.)  But, they're safe.  And ultimately that's truly all that matters.

10) Want to know the thread linking this seemingly random miscellany?  Well, my in-laws were at our house the day of the accident for a birthday party where Star Wars Legos were given to my other son Brennan.  However, Caleb, who is two years younger, exclaimed, "this is the best day ever!"  The joys of the large family.

Brennan the birthday boy

thinking about how he can keep those legos together

looking in the blues

Someday he'll be too big to hold in my arms.

Someday he'll want to walk, not to be carried.

Someday he'll live on his own, away from me.

Someday he'll love someone else.

But, I'll always be his mother.

I'm the one who bandages his scrapes.  Who kisses to make them better.  

I'm the one who tells him stories.  Who listens to his.

I'm the one who he goes on a walk with.  Who ties his shoes.

I am blessed to be mom.

***

Sometimes I need to step back and look at life.  I have to pull off the blinders of a busy life and re-evaluate the important.  I have to let go of self -- and embrace the beauty in the gift of being mom.  It's not glamorous. Yet, in the same breath -- it's beautiful.

My children, all seven of them, are gifts to me.  Right now, my job, my role is to be their mom.  Full-heart. So today, I plan to rake leaves for them to jump in.  I'll cook and clean and fold laundry and play and laugh. Without resentment or bitterness -- you know, the kind that thinks about how I just folded laundry or cleaned that room or washed that floor.  All of the duties and chore could rob me from the joy of being mom.  And, often, I allow myself to be overwhelmed in the daily and forget the big picture.

I lose sight of this temporary time.  This gift of childhood. This time where they will rest in my arms.

Look at my Caleb's baby blues.  He didn't care about his surroundings then -- he wanted my arms.

Oh, my -- how could I forget?  Or want to rush through days?

I need to remember.

I am blessed to be mom.

it's me, caleb

(such sweet words)

Whenever Caleb comes in the room he announces his presence with -

it's me, Caleb.

And today, September 15th,  it's that sweet boy's fifth birthday.

I love him.

Before he was born, I knew that his middle name was to be Daniel.  Knew it.  Then, after praying, both Todd and I felt that he was to be called Caleb.  His name together? Caleb Daniel.  Which means faithful and brave.

Caleb and me - he was six weeks old

October 2005

Little did we know that a short eight weeks after his birth, my husband, Caleb's dad would be diagnosed with cancer.  I would hold that little baby, rock him, and feel the goodness despite the worries.  When we'd go to the Cancer Center patients would line up to greet the baby -- my Caleb. He was hope in the midst of trial.

Caleb on the 4th of July

July 2009

And he's always held that special spot in my heart.

When I'm down, he brings me flowers.

When I'm sad, he gives me a hug.

When I laugh, he laughs louder.

When I work, he works besides me.

I love my Caleb.

I am so grateful to be his mom.

Happy Birthday -  It's Me, Caleb!

------------------------

the new groove

I'm figuring it out.

This is the first week back -- back to the fall swing.  The schedule.  The running around.  Homeschooling.

I'll still blog.  

I just need to get my bearings, figure out my schedule, and make it through this week.

Oh yeah, and catch up on some laundry.  Do some yardwork.  Clean.

And watch with joy as my kids learn -- it never gets old.

that's Chloe's hand as she drops an egg into salt water

Brennan, Caleb and Elijah thought it was so cool that it could float

I hope that your week was awesome.  Whether it was the start of a new routine or the continuation of an existing one -- I pray that you are renewed and invigorated.  Fall is my favorite.   How about for you?

And, of course, I'm linking up to my wonderful daughter, Hannah's, Lovely Photo Wednesday.  Check it out -- I think you'll be blessed.  Wait.  I know you'll be blessed.

crying in the chip aisle

 a small sampling of my groceries in the back of the truck

Yes, you read that right.  My title is Crying in the Chip Aisle. Who was crying?  That would be me.

Today. 

I was simply overwhelmed.  I went to get groceries.  In my house, when I leave to go to the store, my entire, lovely, and always cheerful (grin) clan wants to come with.  At that point I have two options.

A) take all of them with me and add at least 90 minutes to my shopping time and come home with numerous items that I didn't need and go over my budget and deal with many people asking me, "are they all yours?"

or 

B) go by myself (or with the one helper as I typically try to take one with me and of course I have cute Samuel) and stay within dollars of the budget goal while sipping a caramel latte and having extra minutes to leisurely browse the numerous clearance racks while menu planning in my head.

Now, with the aid of the post title, can you guess which option I chose today?  Yes ---  that would be -- Option A.

Not with everyone, mind you -- and I honestly wanted them to come.  I love my kids.  I just reached overwhelm.  In the chip aisle.  My awesome four year old guy, Caleb, has more energy then he knows how to handle.  I'd spent an hour carefully dodging his darting figure at Target, and then another hour re-directing him at CUB Foods.  By the time I'd apologized six or seven times for his quick cut in front of another cart, and answered "no, not today," to Grace for the 45th item she'd like to purchase I simply had enough.

So I began to cry -- quietly -- in the chip aisle.  In front of the Salt and Vinegar and Dill Pickle Chips. Small tears of self-pity formed in my weary eyes.  I just wanted to sit down and stop.  Then as soon as I began I remembered an interaction I had about 35 minutes prior.

Move to the deli.

As I was ordering my half-price honey ham, and already exhausted, my sweet Gracie was interacting with Samuel.  It was kind of bugging me -- she was loud and jumping up and down -- but Samuel was laughing.  Then this kind old man who works at the grocery store comes up to me with a wide grin.  He stops.  And watches.  And says,

What a blessing.  It's so beautiful to see siblings who love each other.  You're blessed.

That's what  I needed to remember.  Blessings. So, I quickly grabbed a bag of the sale chips (two for one tortilla chips -- in case you were curious), placed them in a precarious place in my bulging cart, and walked over and gave the wiggly Caleb of mine a hug.

Looks like God gave me a live example of switching things around.  I lost sight of the beauty -- only to hear it in the deli and find it again in the chip aisle.

 and that would be sweet Caleb -- on the way home today.  I love him.

________________________________________

Interested in winning your own Teething Bling Necklace?

Remember to enter my 

Giveaway