Buy this.
If you have this product your life will be a breeze.
This curriculum will make your kids smart.
This van will make driving easy.
This is how your kids need to behave.
This is how you need to look.
This is the church you need to go to.
If you would follow this simple program you can be happy.
This is how your lawn should look.
You let your kids watch this on television?
This day is only successful if you get all this done.
Lost your temper? This day is not worth redeeming.
This is your response? You don't have patience.
This is success.
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What is this? My inbox, my mail, and my mind are cluttered with these notions of things that I don't have and things that I seem to need. I read the catalogs of homeschool rescources and gradually begin to think that what I have is not enough. That I'm missing out. That my kids are missing out. I look at the food in the organic section, read articles on gmos, and get stressed over the food. I walk through the fitness aisle at Target and feel guilt when I see the numerous dvds on working out.
I start to feel as if I fail.
No longer am I content. Instead my mind races from this to this to this -- spinning itself into a flurry of anxiety. I want the cycle to stop. Yet, the world and all it's labels wants to scream fail deep into my spirit.
How to let it go? How to say NO when it's all around.
It's not of me. Well, it is -- in the choice to seek my identity first in Christ. But, honestly blogging, it's so hard. It's difficul to be content when I focus on what I don't have. My mind seems to be looking for all the this things that I don't have. And gradually, I've been finding myself filled with anxiety.
Yesterday, as I was driving to the homeschool store I realized (again) how I was living by emotion -- driven by all the jargon of the world. My hands were gripping the wheel, and I missed out on the beautiful country side. My heart raced, as my thoughts scrambled.
I wasn't living in peace. I was living in the world. Jesus said,
Peace I give to you.
He gives it. A gift. I was ignoring His peace and living on the world's peace. And, friends, there is no peace if the world is your platform. I know. So I write about it. Again. Because, truly, living by the Spirit isn't a one time decision. It's daily. Hourly.
Right now? I'm struggling. But, I'm trying. And part of trying, for me, is writing about it. And being real that I struggle with this.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
(John 14:27)
