my keyboard
Somehow in the scheme of life I find myself aware of the joy and beauty around me more when I write. It's as if knowing that I get to write frees my eyes to see the abundance of joy. It's funny because I certainly have lived a life that has many, many hard roads. Roads that were dark and ominous...roads of cancer, roads of financial woes, and roads of self-doubt. Yet the Lord was faithful, even in those difficult times. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer I remember feeling so incredibly close to our Lord. Those around me couldn't understand the peace that filled me, a peace I attributed only to Him above. During those times, moments where I didn't know the future, I began to see life, to see everyday, differently. As a gift.It's easy to race through life missing the beautiful moments. How many times do we think or say, "when this happens I'll be happy." or "I'll play with you guys in just a little bit." or "If I only had this...insert anything...then I could be the best" And we lament over what we don't have or should be doing. I know. I was there. I still battle that. However, the Lord so gently led me down this road of surrender. And on that road I began to see beauty. In the ordinary, everyday moments of life.
You know the moments.
A warm cup of coffee in hand. An infant snuggled to your chest. Fresh rain leaving trails down the driveway. A toddler singing "Jesus loves me." The sound of a piano playing. Family.
coffee
When my husband was sick I began to journal online. It started with our caringbridge site with just simple updates. As the weeks passed it began to become a journal of faith. Everything was grey and cloudy. We had no idea how we would end up, how we would survive. And here we are. Four years later. And with two little boys who we were told could never be. One of them is that sweet Samuel from the previous post. And the other? My Elijah...aka as Moochie Man. He is a blessing, victory over cancer. The Lord is good.
my moochie man
So blogging has become a lifestyle. I took a break for a bit because I needed to figure out why I was blogging. Was it for me? To be popular? To get followers? I needed to understand. And I think I do now. Yes, it's great and uplifting to have followers, but more than that I've come to realize that if my words, my realness, gives hope or joy to one other person then it was time well spent. And, honestly, many times it helps me. It allows me to look at life differently...with a different and fresh lens. Blogging is a blessing to me. I process all the stuff inside and write it down. Vulnerably. And then I'm not bogged down with thoughts. I become free to live.
The best part? God. When I blog I feel more connected to Him. I search the the Scriptures. I'm more in tune with the abundance of gifts and beauty around me. Finding Joy became my title when I was in the midst of massive crisis. I was determined to live alive to Him despite the lies of the world and the oppressive reality surrounding me. And God was good. He surprised me with the extraordinary joy found in living a life intentionally for Him. I am so excited about resparking (is that I word? Because if not I think it should be. It's soooo cool) my blogging journey. I've seen the blessings blogging has given our family. From my own blog to the blog of my daughter Hannah at Aspire . It's neat. And I thank each of you for joining once again on my journey. It's truly a gift to share with you a bit about me. And in return, I get to learn some of your journey. As we walk this road of life there are ups and downs. I know. What better way to journey than with friends.
Samuel and me
(thank you to my daughter Hannah for all these fabulous pictures)
