And I don't have it.
In fact, as I type this, I know that I am sitting in many challenges that need to be submitted to the authority and power of Christ. One of them is the general attitude of my home. Do you ever experience it? You know, those times when it just feels like everything or everyone is in a funk? Yet you can't put your finger on what, or who, or why it is? That's where I am right now. Where I know it's not right, not rightly-ordered, yet I can't pinpoint the reason. Or, in all honesty, I avoid looking at the root.
And that root is that once again, I haven't surrendered my day and this home to the Lord.
a nearly empty cup
Just like I wrote yesterday, my measuring cup of the day is filled with things to do, projects, my own self-worth, coffee (in the effect that I look for it for energy and to calm my mind), and NOT Jesus. Oh, Jesus is there, but I'm not FULL of Him. And when He's at the bottom of the cup it takes alot to stare through all the other muck that is covering Him, the truth. Then life, or the home, begins to unravel. Bit by bit, like a knit scarf being pulled apart. You can't see it unraveling, and yet it is...and by the time you realize it you've lost rows. Or in my case, I reach the point where I just pull over the truck (again) and weep.I can't do this on my own strength.
Yet, I've been trying. Trying to hold it together, clutching things so tightly so that it looked together. Maybe today will be better...I'd try to tell myself. Yet, it wasn't. There wasn't the rightly-ordered power. Rightly-ordered means that my cup is full of Christ first. It means that our day in this home begins and ends with Him. That no matter what, we let go of the world's agenda to refocus our lives to Him. Will math wait? Absolutely. Especially if there is a heart that needs mending, or correcting, or soothing. A messy floor? Yes. Being late to a class? When it involves redirecting to the truth, then that is first. 100% And that truth, that rightly-ordered power gives me hope. Not from me, but hope in Him. In His plans. His mercies.
renewed, rededicated
Today I am going to spend some time wandering through my home rededicating it to the Lord. I will pray that His Spirit fills every crack and crevice, and that His truth radiates from the walls. I've slacked in that area, and because of that His power and truth faded into the background. So, once again, I begin. Humbly, and yet filled with His rightly-ordered power.Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning,
great is your faithfulness.
(Lamentations 3:22-23)
