At least that's what I keep telling myself.
The stuff doesn't matter. The stuff doesn't matter. The stuff doesn't matter.
The stuff doesn't matter.
And, yet, here I am nine days before Christmas without having bought one present.
Not one.
And, honestly, I'm starting to panic. To fear that this Christmas won't be good, won't measure up, won't be worth it. That my kids will be unhappy, that I'll fail Christmas, and that this Christmas will always be the one they talk about with "remember when?"
When the budgets really tight, and your husband is in the early stages of a new business, extra money for Christmas is scarce. I know there will be some....just not yet. And, for me, the planner, the one who loves to order all those on-line amazing deals, who pores over the mass of catalogs that stuff my mailbox daily, this is proving to be a true test of character. In fact, just several days ago, I let the tension of not having the stuff get to me.
I was negative. And crabby. And not looking at Christmas right.
I wanted stuff.
It's hard. Society tends to define happiness by stuff. It can be extremely uncomfortable to find contentment and peace when life doesn't fit society's pre-determined mold. I've had to surrender my ideas of what a perfect Christmas should be. In fact, the Lord has been showing me just how blessed I am -- without needing the stuff -- and redirecting my attention on family, friends, health, and those in need. In need of what I forgot that I have.
We have a home. My husband is in remission. My children are healthy. We have food. Vehicles. Clothes. Opportunity. Freedom. Toys. Friends. We have stuff. I just forgot.
Today, we'll pull out the glue sticks, paper, and crayons and make some homemade ornaments for grandparents. I'll package cookies and handmade cards for friends. As far as gifts for my kiddos? We'll get them. Maybe it won't be as neatly tied and organized as I'd like, and that's okay. Christmas isn't about that stuff. Really.
I'm content in waiting.
And grateful for my Savior's birth. Truly grateful.
That's the stuff that truly matters.
