Utter exhaustion
Sun on our faces
Laughter around.
Dirty, grass stained feet
Tired little hands
Nodding fast asleep.
Today our local homeschool association held an outdoor extravaganza. It was glorious fun. Our older youth, called LEAD, led and organized the entire event--shoe kicks, 50yd dash, baseball throw, and the finale...an amazing race throughout the park.
I sat on the side and watched. The sun beat down, my little ones played, and I ate warm, mushy peanut butter sandwiches. My kids were free to run, to explore, to live. And, for a moment, I forgot the trials and pains of the world. My friends were there...we were free.
hanging on
It's so easy to hang onto those burdens. Somehow in my mind I fear that if I let go of it, even for a moment, that it will get worse-or lost. Yet, we're not to continuously carry these loads. As many of you wrote to me, the Lord knows. He knew my day today. He knows my tomorrow. He knows. Why in the world do I insist on carrying a load that is meant to be left at His feet? When worry and fear overtake joy then I am falling prey to the upside-down reality that this world presents. When I allow the peace that can only come from the Lord to flood my heart and spirit than I am living rightly-ordered with Him.
freedom
So, today, for several hours, I felt free. I didn't think of the fiscal challenges...I thought of my kids. I didn't think of how I felt behind...I laughed with my friends. And God met me in the neatest way. You see, I have not had a haircut and color in almost 18 months. (I know, I know, I know.) I constantly give to my children...if they need then I go without. Anyways, I finally scheduled a haircut and color last Friday. Before my post on Saturday. And I told my friends. After all, I was sooooo excited. (Really. I need a trim.) Today, I told my good friend, Amy, that I wasn't going to get my cut after all. And, I was okay with it. Well, later, she calls me and tells me that all weekend she couldn't get me and my haircut out of her mind. Everytime she prayed my name came up, and then my haircut. So she kept praying asking the Lord what she was to do with regards to my cut. Product? The cut? What? Then today she heard me talk about how I needed to keep the budget safe. Then she knew....so she calls into my salon (can I really have one even when I only go every couple of years?) and pays for my cut. And tells me it wasn't her. It was God. And that --He sees my every need. He sees me.
This entire weekend I had been complaining that I felt lost, as if God didn't see me. I'd cry and ask how He could let this happen, and worry that I wasn't important. And that little haircut had me in a tizzy. So Todd, my dear husband, puts that on his prayer list. With all the other huge things he needs to take care of, he adds my silly haircut to the top. Friends, the Lord knocked my socks off today. He sees me. He cares. And that blows my mind.
Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26
